In the ADHD world, there is a big divide between people who think ADHD is a gift, and those who don’t. Saying ADHD is a gift seems to evoke very strong reactions in people. Those who don’t believe in the gift of ADHD, say things like, “If ADHD is a gift, can I return it?” and think that experts who believe it is, are giving false hope. However, the people that do think ADHD is a gift, have been working with ADHDers for years and are very familiar with its characteristics and how it shows up in peoples’ lives.
Dr. Hallowell, author of many highly regarded ADHD books, including ‘Delivered from Distraction’, considers ADHD a gift. He admits it’s “a gift that is hard to unwrap”. But it is possible (to unwrap those gifts) and Dr. Hallowell’s positive views about ADHD, helps millions of people.
Clinical psychologist and author of ‘The Gift of ADHD’, Lara Honos-Webb believes by focusing on your positive traits, you develop motivation and confidence to overcome the more challenging aspects of ADHD. When you shift from having a ‘deficit disorder’ to having ‘gifts’, straight away, you feel better about yourself. You have a sense of control and more inclined to spend time developing your strengths; not struggling with your weakness.
When Marcia Hoeck and I were giving our ‘Focus Control and Balance’ Retreat for ADHD Entrepreneurs, light bulbs went off all around the room when we said having ‘ADHD forces you to be authentic’. There is no tricking ADHD! You can’t put your head down and work in a boring job for 40 years. You need to be stimulated and fulfilled. If you aren’t, your ADHD symptoms shoot through the roof and you will be (quoting Mr.Trump,) fired. Having ADHD forces you to find a job that makes you excited and motivated every day.
ADHD also forces you to take care of yourself physically, by exercising and eating right. It leaves you no choice but to spend time with good people who love you, just the way you are. ADHD also pushes you to be self-reflective and get to know yourself really well.
Having a job you love, keeping healthy, being with supportive, kind people and knowing yourself really well, is the recipe to a happy, successful and healthy life. Yet, many people without ADHD seem to settle for a lot less. So if it’s ADHD that gets you to that place, then it’s a gift.
If you are living with unmanaged ADHD as you read this, I understand it might be hard to think of it as a gift. I am severely dyslexic and wasn’t diagnosed until I was 28. Up until that time, my life was completely centered round studying. I shed many tears for each paper I wrote and exam I studied for. My self-esteem was in my boots because of all the negative effects dyslexia had on my life and nothing about that situation seemed like a gift. 12 years later though, I have created a life I love based on my strengths and gifts and if a fairy godmother offered to make my dyslexia disappear, I would politely decline. The same is true for all my ADHD clients, now that they are getting to know themselves and understanding how ADHD shows up for them. They are making lifestyle changes and seeing positive results… they don’t want to remove the ‘ADHD’ part of themselves!
As you are reading this, what were your thoughts about ADHD being a gift? Write them in the comments section below.
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I recently have been diagnosed and this was only by accident ! . 2 years ago I decided to become a Teaching assistant at my daughters school ( she has ADHD ) . I have always had jobs that behaviours were not noticed to be different . ( I just thought of myself as being brutally honest and opinionated ) I was always getting told I am defensive , over emotional and easily distracted , it didn’t click as really I was always in positions where I was in charge , I now know and understand how rude I must of sounded ! . After a year I moved schools as I was always getting pulled in to the office because of my behaviour ( laughing with the pupils when they was naughty , because it was funny ( apparently not lol ) My recent school has been totally amazing , my tutor I was put in to work with has ADHD and because of her I made the decision to try to get a referral . ( I was always worried about upsetting people with what I said because to me there was nothing wrong with what I said I was just being honest ) . Over the last year I have completed so many qualifications especially SEN , I have an understanding of feelings with pupils with ADHD (and other difficulties ) and I would like to think that I am making a difference for these children in a positive way , I have always said to understand ADHD you need to live with it , I was referring to my daughter at the time . I try to explain to my challenging pupils that ADHD is like ” my brain is always in conflict with my mouth , you know you shouldn’t say something but your mouth says I am going to say it anyway lol . I think to a prior article , I need to be challenged to thrive , others do not understand that’s what I want they just see the hard work , I see knowledge gained and a purpose to my job , I spent 25 years being told I have depression , I feel reborn , My major emotional regulation is playing football , I am 43 years old and I am loving it ! not any good yet so that’s where the challenge is , so my view on ADHD is that it is a gift as long as you have support , you can be successful and even more forget the negatives and focus on the positives !
I feel to be diagnosed with it at my present age (59) it is a curse. Perhaps if I had been diagnosed much earlier it might have been a gift. I have had too many difficulties throughout my life that I now realize are directly associated with ADHD. I have always struggled with employment, never being able to find a position that I could really be excited and happy about. Although many of the symptoms appear to be opposites from the way I feel and act, they are exactly the same. Clutter and disorganization is huge, always has been, I find it difficult to throw things away, but I classify myself as being more unable to figure out where to put things, since I have so little space for storage. I have no extra money to purchase units, and anyway there really to nowhere to actually put those units anyway. I expect the best solution is to purge. If I had been diagnosed earlier, I might have been able to come to realize my difficulties. Instead I have had to fight for everything I have gotten and had to take whatever I could get. I was nearing my 58th birthday when I finally got up the nerve to get a job of nearly 13 years, that was to wearing on my body, including creating the inability for me to get enough sleep since I had to work overnights, and sleep during the day. I have had to the pay the penalties of quitting of having absolutely no funds coming in and having to live off of my meagre retirement savings, and then learning about this mental malady. My doctor or 3 months has me testing out medications, but, so far I am not finding a lot of difference, (some but not a lot.) All I get from government is to get another job. Easy for them to say when unemployment in the area is nearing 10% and I am nearly 60, and have always had difficulties getting jobs let alone one that I can depend on.
So, for me ADHD is a curse.
I love this article!
I am a 24 year old male from QLD, Australia.
I started taking Ritalin LA a year ago (Last time I was on Ritalin+ dexamphetamine was when I was 6) starting at 20mg, now I am on 40mg. When I am on it, I feel a lot more concentrated and its like my head is screwed on a bit more at my crappy job (Target)
But I feel no boost of happiness or motivation at work while I’m on it. But not a decrease wither. I have noticed I become more talkative around people I feel really comfortable with while I am on it like fanily, but no effect at all in public or at work. I suffer from low self esteem and depression and anxiety, (this started at 15 when I got teased by someone in grade 10 for being scrawny, the depression all started at age of 19 when I becamed ashamed of still being a virgin, I ended up loosing my virginity at 19 but ever since then I have never had sex, when I started becoming more sociable and I wasn’t (in my own little world) I noticed a lot of people around me were having sex, a normal human thing to do, and I wasn’t. So year after year I became more and more depressed. Now it has gotten to the point whefe I just can’t function in social situations (like parties), always waiting for that moment for someone to ask me personal questions in front of other people (yes this has happened and I see their reactions) :/
I have been working at target since 17, landed a 20 hour permanent contract in march 2014. But ever since then they haven’t been giving me more permanent hours, just extra hours here and there on casual rates. Its just not enough….well not enough to have fun anyway. They keep saying “not enough money in the budget” but I don’t think this is true. Because I always see new people start, or people come from no where with full time jobs. I just don’t feel wanted there. I want to do something more, not just working cutting boxes open and serving customers, I just don’t know what I want to do. I am not in debt which is good, only a $750 phone bill and $250 owed to paypal, I also have a $5000 car loan off my dad to get a 05 black Lancer with low km’s (he gave this too me because of our rough past) tgis was in feb this year he gave it to me, i have under $4200 to go, and because I have always had a job so its good he trusts me enough to help me get a car :’) very economical which is good. But I just need help! I feel sad everday. I want to become an entrepreneur, just don’t know what. I believe I can, but at the same time I have doubts and fear. I didn’t do very well in school so I don’t have a lot of options when it comes to everyday jobs. It feels like my only option is to go my own way. I hate working in groups.
Can you help me? Anything?
Thanks for reading this and I look forward to your reply. Oh btw I do love having adhd, a gift, I wouldn’t give it away at all
Always a pleasure to read your oh so eloquently written articles. Keep up the great work! Miss you!
Marisa
Thanks Marisa for the lovely feedback!!!
I’m in the “gift” camp…most of the time…and, like you, I would “politely decline” a fairy godmother’s offer to take it away!
Cheers, Jacqui, and hugs,
Cynthia
Thanks for your comment Cynthia! ‘most of the time’ made me chuckle…you summed it up perfectly.
Big hugs coming right back at you
Jacqui