How to Decide What to Wear When You Have ADHD

How to Decide What to Wear When You Have ADHDDeciding what to wear in the morning can be hard. However, it can be extra painful when you have ADHD for these reasons.

  1. Decision making is challenging: big and small.
  2.  Mornings aren’t your best time; you might not feel awake for 3 or 4 hours after you get dressed.
  3.  Social rules are a bit of a mystery, so you aren’t sure if  there is a dress code you don’t know about. [Read more…]

ADHD and Email Overload

There is a saying (which originates from Shakespeare’s play As You Like It) about having ‘too much of a good thing.’

For example, a piece of cake for dessert is a delicious treat but eating the whole cake could make you feel ill. A fresh snowfall makes a fun day on the ski hill, but an avalanche of snow is dangerous.

There is a tipping point.

Something that is good in moderation stops being enjoyable or useful in large quantities.

That is true for email, particularly when you have ADHD. [Read more…]

ADHD and Email Challenges

In April 1999, I moved from England to live in Seattle in the US. It was really exciting to be living in a brand new country, one that I had only seen in the movies.

Something else exciting happened that year. My friends and family all started to get email addresses. Email was new and novel and such a convenient way to keep in touch. Checking my inbox was really fun. Without email, the only other way to keep in touch would have been letters or long distance phone calls.

Fast forward 20 years and our relationship to inboxes has changed. A lot! [Read more…]

ADHD and OCD

Sally felt really proud of herself.  For years she felt like her house was looking like a disaster area. Every surface was piled high with papers, shopping bags, paper work and flyers were mixed with important tax documents.

Her floors  had abandoned clothes and half empty boxes from her last move, which was 3 years ago. She was so embarrassed that she never invited friends over.

Then one evening, Sally got frustrated because she couldn’t find a spoon to cook her stir fry. So, she decluttered her spoon drawer.  It felt so good to  have a tidy drawer that over the next year Sally  decluttered and tidied every drawer, shelf, counter top and floor space. [Read more…]

ADHD and Overthinking

Are you an overthinker? Overthinking is when you can’t stop thinking about a topic, even though it is making you miserable. Your brain is stuck in a loop and you play out a situation or memory again and again. While another person might think about a topic, process it and switch to a new one, your brain continues to ruminate.

Rarely (if ever) does overthinking bring joy. Instead it makes you feel bad about yourself and puts you in a blue mood. Negative thoughts are like magnets, they draw other bad memories into your mind. After ruminating on all these difficult memories it is hard to feel positive about the future. [Read more…]

Why Reading on a Kindle is Great for ADHDers

A little while ago I wrote an article called ‘How to Read a Book When You Have ADHD’. Its aim was to stop ADHDers from feeling guilty if they didn’t read books in the traditional linear way.

After that article, people emailed me asking for tips to read novels, which do have to be read beginning to end. Lots of people said their mind would wander or they would stop reading half way through the book even if they were enjoying it.

This article is about the benefits of reading books on a Kindle  when you have ADHD. [Read more…]

ADHD and Shame

Shame and ADHD often go hand in hand.

Shame is a cocktail of emotions including embarrassment, regret, humiliation and feeling less than.

Many adults living with ADHD feel ashamed of themselves and their behaviour – both for what they did and didn’t do.

You might feel shame for not matching society’s ‘norms,’ such as for a failed marriage, exam or job.

You could even feel shame for ‘needing’ to use a tool to help support you – for example, checklists to help you remember things, or a timer to help keep you on task. (Neutralizing this type of shame is something we talk about in Essentially Brilliant.)

Daily life activities can also provoke a huge amount of shame, for example repeatedly losing your keys or  struggling to keep a tidy house. If a neighbour pops in for an unexpected visit,  you might feel ashamed at your messy house and then relive that shame whenever you see your neighbor. [Read more…]

How To Tell Someone You Have ADHD

 

When you are first diagnosed with ADHD, there are some
people in your life you will share the news with without a second thought. These are the people in your inner circle – perhaps your wife or husband, parents, kids or very close friends.

There are also some people you will probably never tell. These are people who are negative, closed minded, mean spirited, or have said negative things about ADHD in the past.

Then there are people who aren’t in either of these groups. You are close, but they aren’t in your inner circle, or you might not have known them when you were diagnosed.

It feels strange they don’t know this important detail about you. Yet you aren’t sure the best way to tell them. [Read more…]

Should I Get Tested For ADHD?

Matthew wandered into the living room. The TV was on and he caught the last few minutes of a documentary about adults having ADHD.   He felt excited because the description on the TV sounded just like him. In fact, it was as if the documentary cameras had been following him around his whole life.

When the show ended, Matthew ran to his laptop and started Googling Adult ADHD. The more he articles he read the more excited he got.

Next, he went onto Amazon and ordered 6 books about ADHD.  The last time Matthew had read a book was in school…3 decades ago. However, when the Amazon box arrived he snatched the box from the delivery man’s hand, hoped he didn’t seem rude and read each of the books from cover to cover.

He felt so validated and happy that there was a name for why he was the way he was. [Read more…]