I got this great question from a blog reader…
Can you write a post about why people with ADHD become super frustrated because people move and think at glacial speed when we can see the problems and solutions easily?
Many people with ADHD (Inattentive subtype and hyperactive subtype) find their brains work faster than people who don’t have ADHD. Your non–linear way of thinking means you can problem solve, catch on to new ideas and have high speed conversations in a way that non–ADHDers just can’t.
This can be a blessing and a curse.
If you are having a conversation with someone else like you, it can be an exhilarating experience. However, because most of the world’s brains don’t work like yours, you can end up feeling restless, impatient and bored.
To make matters worse, some things do take you longer to do, housework, grocery shopping etc. So it seems very unfair when you do have something you can do fast, though it can’t be fully utilized and appreciated.
Have Either of These Happened to You?
At a staff meeting, a problem is identified. You come up with a solution in minutes. People keep talking and after 30 minutes, they come up with the same idea that you did.
At party, a person seems to be taking forever to explain something. It is agony for you because you already know exactly what they are going to say.
You know if you try to rush someone, or finish their sentence, they think you are rude. Nevertheless, it is hard for you because while you are waiting for them, you are frustrated and bored.
Here Are Some Suggestions:
1. Your Friends
It is physically and mentally draining to always have to practice patience and restraint. Find other quick–thinking people to spend time with. You can be yourself, talk quickly, jump from topic to topic and not have to explain anything; they just “get” you. They might have ADHD too!
2. Your Career
Pick a career that works with your strengths. If you find it frustrating talking to people, a customer service role might not be a good option. If your boss gets annoyed with your constant suggestions of how to improve the workplace, become a consultant. Consultants get paid to solve problems. It’s a win–win!
3. Your Leisure Time
In your leisure time, take part in activities where your strengths will be celebrated. Join a debate team, go to open an open mike night at a comedy club and find an improvisational theatre club. These will allow you to use your skills and express yourself. Your confidence and self–esteem will grow and you will be have a lot of fun. The opposite happens when you hide parts of yourself. You feel ashamed, depressed and your confidence shrinks.
4. Develop Strategies
Now that you have made changes to your environment, there will still be times when you are in a situation where people seem to be talking or thinking very slowly.
Here are some tips:
· Practice meditation, it helps you to focus on the moment.
· Treat your ADHD. It helps reduce feeling impatient and frustrated.
· If you do interrupt, simply say sorry.
Remember different brains work in different ways. They both have their strengths and weaknesses. It is much easier to be patient and appreciate other people’s strengths when yours are being appreciated. Which is why it is important to implement suggestions 1,2 and 3.
People with linear brains, need to go step by logical step until they get to the solution that you could leap to. Remind yourself that they aren’t being purposely slow to annoy you.
What has helped you to deal with people whose brains work slower than yours?