Adults with ADHD often dislike their birthdays. It’s a reminder that their life isn’t where they want it to be compared to the lives of their non ADD friends.  It could be that they are really bad at remembering other peoples birthdays, so don’t feel theirs deserves to be remembered.  Or, the universal concern, that they don’t like how the passing of years is affecting their body. Or maybe, their self esteem is low and don’t feel they want to have a lot of fuss. Birthdays are symbolic and worthy of celebrating. It’s a chance to celebrate your life, so why not create an extra special day for yourself?  

In the western world birthdays are often celebrated with cakes, gifts, flowers, cards and balloons. However it is your day, so you get to choose how to celebrate it to reflect your own tastes and style.   Here are some ideas how you can start to enjoy your birthdays again.

2. Take a few minutes to reflect on your last year achievements, things that you did, experienced, etc. You will always be surprised at how much you did.  

3. Plan some things you would like to do in the next year, start a new hobby, etc.  

4. Allow others to pamper and spoil you. 

5. Have a birthday party so that you can be with those that you love the most. It’s fine to host it for yourself.  

6. Create a wonderful memory on your birthday. Do something that you will remember forever. 

7. Think back to when you were little, what did you look forward to about your birthday? A birthday cake? Balloons? Whatever it was make sure you include that in your day this year.

8. Today is the day that others get to show you how special you are to them. No matter how hard this is for you, let them. 

9.  If noticing your body aging is upsetting you check out www.realage.com This will empower you to start turning back the aging clock.  

10. If you feel you are behind in life, write down the areas of your life that give you this feeling. This will give you a base to take action. For example, if you write financial, book an appointment with a financial adviser to create plan.  

When you celebrate your day, make it special for yourself, as well as enjoying the attention from your loved ones.  You will feel loved and rejuvenated and ready to make the next year an incredible one.

February 2nd is Groundhog Day. The tradition is that if the groundhog sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter.

The 1993 movie Groundhog Day has Bill Murray playing a grumpy meteorologist who covers a story on Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. Murray hates the town and its cheery residents, so when he gets struck living the same day again and again, it’s somewhat of a nightmare.

The interesting thing is that many of us experience our own Groundhog Day effect. We live out the same day after day. We repeat things again and again, even if they make us miserable and unhealthy. We want change and even promise ourselves, “Okay, so tomorrow I will do…” But actual change doesn’t happen because habits are so entrenched in our lives. Creating new ones feels particularly impossible, even though in our head, the new ideas look and feel great.

Four years ago, I knew there were some BIG changes I needed to make. I thought about them for months and finally I changed one thing. I moved offices from a shared space to my very own. Once I made one big change in my life, the resistance to change had been broken. That same month, I ended a long-term relationship and moved houses. While these changes were big ones, yours don’t need to be. Take a few minutes now to think about what changes you would like in your life. What changes in your life do you need to make so you aren’t experiencing your very own Ground Hog Day? More exercise? More fun? Less stress? Start a new hobby, get a new job, meet some new friends?

If making changes in your life is really hard, start small. Making a big change, such as finding a new job, can be scary, particularly if you have been in the same position for a long time. Start to shake things up, but in a gentle, non-threatening way. Don’t do anything about moving jobs until you feel inspired or excited. Start making changes in your life that are completely unrelated to the new job. Move some furniture around at home, try a new recipe, mix up your routine at the gym, order a different meal at your favourite restaurant, read a book by a new author. This way you are building up your “change muscle.” Your body and mind will become used to new and different things and then bigger changes will become easy and often fun and exciting.

Change is revitalizing, refreshing and it boosts your self-esteem and confidence. It can also make us happier and more youthful?

What small change are you going to implement tomorrow to break out of your Groundhog Day?

As an ADHD coach I am always looking for helpful resources that will help your ADHD challenges. Here are 3 great websites that will help make life easy and even fun.

1)      www.passpack.com
Remembering things is a real challenge for adults with ADHD.  Passpack is  simple tool that is designed solely for  you to store  all your passwords and user names for all your favourite websites. It’s sercue, free, and can be accessed from every computer you use. A word of warning, don’t forget your password to Passpack!!!..because of its secure nature, if you forget this password there is no way to retrieve it.
  
2)      www.zip.ca
People with ADHD love watching movies. Perhaps because it’s a good way to escape your busy mind for a couple of hours, or if you are watching a movie at home it keeps you company and makes doing mundane tasks more interesting. However it is easy  return movies late and then incur late fees.

There are companies now that send your chosen movies to you in the mail box. You watch it and return it in a pre-paid envelope. No late fees, and there are 1000’s of movies to choose from. If you live in Canada,  Zip.ca is a great service. If you live in another country google ‘movies delivered to your door’ and a similar service will be listed.
  
3)      www.freecycle.org
Clutter is a huge problem for people with ADHD! One of the reasons clutter is hoarded in your home is that it can be hard to part with your belongings. Knowing that a special, but no longer used, item of yours is going to a good home really helps to release it. The phrase ‘one mans junk is another mans treasure’ is so true. Freecycle.org is a website that allows you to give an item of yours to a person in your area . The idea is that for every item that has found a new home, means one item less in a landfill. Word of warning.. this is a really great resource! and when you see what other people are giving away it can be tempting to want to add belonging to your home… Be mindful of this!

Your challenge this week is to visit each website and see if you think it would be helpful to your life. .

My all time favourite quote is “You are never given a dream without also being given the power to make it true” Richard Bach.
 
Every time I remember it I feel incredibly empowered and excited. It  means that anything my imagination conjures up can happen. The other day I rented a DVD called ‘Man on Wire’ and it shows beautifully how true that quote is.
 
‘Man on Wire’ is a documentary film about an incredible French man called Philippe Petit. In the late 1960’s Philippe decides he will walk on a tight rope from one of the Twin Towers of New York’s World Trade Center to the other.
 
What makes this really incredible is that when he decided to do this, the World Trade Center hadn’t actually been built NOR could he tightrope walk. He read about the towers being built in a magazine in a dentist waiting room.  As he was reading he got the idea to perform this incredible act.
 
Over the next 6 years in was consumed with  realizing his dream. He teaches himself to walk on a tightrope, and he gets some of his friends on board as he needs help with the practicalities of getting the wire in place.
 
His plan to perform this tight rope walk  is actually illegal. However there is something very innocent about this crime after-all he isn’t trying to steal anything or hurt anyone. Besides the possibility of being in serious trouble with the law, the walk was exceptionally dangerous…he could have died.
 
I won’t tell you all the details because I would like you to watch the film with the same sense of excitement that I felt. However this story is the perfect example of how even ‘crazy’ or ‘far fetched’ goals can be realized.
 
Adults with ADHD have many brilliant and inspired ideas. Yet very often instead of  following through with them and making them happen, they bring themselves back to ‘real life’. While it won’t be possible realize every idea ( chances are you have many), it is possible to implement the ones you feel extremely passionate or excited about.
 
Your ideas don’t need to put you in physical danger! Perhaps yours is a business venture,  a travel adventure, or a relationship that you would like to pursue. When you get an idea that excites and inspires you, rather than push the idea away and think ‘well that is so outlandish’ Remember Philippe Petit’s amazing story and follow your dream  knowing with certainty that you have the power to make it come true.

Last week I was traveling from Europe to Canada and I had the worse flight experience I have ever had. Approximately 15 times a minute my seat would get hit or kicked by the passenger behind me. Causing my seat and body jolt forward and then pulpit backwards. It was a 7 hour flight, so that is A LOT of jolts!

I did all the usually actions, spoke nicely to him, ask the flight assistant if I could move to another seat (there weren’t any), the flight assistants all spoke to the gentleman. All to no avail.  In the end all I could do was tolerate the situation. What was interesting about the situation was I wasn’t able to do the things I usually love to do when flying. I wasn’t able to enjoy my novel,  the work I had taken with me, have a nap or even enjoy a film. The only activity that was possible was to watch mindless TV comedies, which helped to block out reality. This experience got me thinking, if in our daily life we are tolerating annoyances then they are seriously stopping us from achieving our potential. Rather than pursuing activities that engage our brain, and nurture us, having to tolerate annoyances means we do activities that help us tolerate life rather than grow and develop.

In order to untap your brilliance and allow your full potential to shine, it’s important that you first realize what things in your life you are tolerating and then start to get rid of them.

Tolerations range from the mundane for example, a broken light bulb, to a relationship that is no longer working

Adults with ADHD tend to have more tolerations in their lives than others. This could be because they get distracted, and so keep meaning to do a task but then jump to something else, because they never feel they have enough time to address the toleration, or they don’t feel they deserve better…a result of low self esteem. Tolerations are often mundane to fix and a little boring, so it’s more interesting to do other things.

So its time to blitz those tolerations! You will have so much more mental and physical energy when you and you will also feel so much more cheerful, relaxed and healthy too.

1)Walk round your home, your office and car and take an inventory of everything you are tolerating

For example, a broken drawer that is difficult to open and close. All your socks seem to have holes in so you have to sort through numerous ones before you can find a pair to wear. Your guest room is full of clutter and it sucks you energy every time you walk it.

2) Think of all the people in your life, is there anything you are tolerating there? Perhaps someone is also criticizing you, or talks about other people behind their back

3) Are there any personal habits that you have that you are tolerating?  Perhaps smoking even though you don’t want to. Never recycling, even though you would like to.

4) Are there any health issues that you have been meaning to get looked at? Have a mole removed, teeth cleaned, ingrowing toe nail looked at.

When you have your list don’t be daunted by its size. The more the better. Set yourself the challenge of addressing one thing on the list a day. Perhaps a phone call to book an appointment with your dentist one day, a conversation with your friend who is very negative the next.  With each toleration being taken care of you will notice how much your quality of life improves and be in a much better space to achieve what is important to you!

On January 12, following the series of earthquakes that devastated Haiti the news of  the human suffering that has followed has left us all feeling shocked and helpless. While it’s not possible for us all to go in person (as much as we would like to)  what we can do is show support with our donations so that basic supplies like water, food, and medical supplies can be distributed

There are many ways to make donations …but here is the link to the Canadian red cross.

Red Cross

If you live in Montreal there is a fund raising event for Haiti on Tuesday the 19th. DJ Andy Williams will be playing and there are some super cool raffle prizes. For more information press this link:

Haiti Tweetup

Hugs,
Jacqui

When we think of the New Year we automatically think about New Year Resolutions. However resolutions are usually a highly ineffective way to achieve what we would like in our life.

For example, if your new years resolution is to lose weight, or get fit, you will likely to do really well for the first few days or even a few weeks, eating an extreme diet or going to the gym every day. But then the resolution way of life becomes hard and boring and its more comfortable to revert back to old ways.  New Years Resolutions are based on pure will power, and without a compelling goal, or big enough why,  Resolutions will not be sustainable.

However the New Year IS a great time to set goals. I have just read an inspiring book called ‘Taming Tigers, Do things you never thought you could do’ . The author Jim Lawless tells of how he achieved his goal of riding his first televised horse-race in the space of one year.  Before he set this goal for himself he had only been pony trekking twice!  In order to achieve this ambitious goal he had to get up every day at 5am to train, continue his day job, lose 1/4 of his body weight (jockeys are very light), move houses to be near the training ground, and give up alcohol (which can’t have been easy for someone that hadn’t gone to bed sober for 17 years).

It would have be extremely hard to do these things if Jim hadn’t had a compelling goal. This year when you are thinking about what you would like to achieve think BIG. What would you move heaven and earth to achieve?

Start with your big goal and then work backwards. You are much more likely to stick to a diet, declutter your house, get fit, etc. when the big goal excites you.

The sense of exhilaration that Jim felt when he completed the race was ‘ Absolute Elation’. Not only did he achieve his goal but he now has the knowledge that he can do anything that he sets his mind and this will stay with him forever.

When  inspired Adults with ADHD can achieve incredible feats in a very short space of time, so can you. So your first action for 2010 is to create a compelling and exciting goal. Don’t worry about how you will achieve your goal, your only job today is to think WHAT you would like to achieve!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

It’s December 31st 2009! the New Year will soon be here. As I am typing away, I have a lovely view of Edinburgh city skyline, and just to make me feel at home there are rather a lot of snowflakes hurtling down towards the ground. As well as my cup of tea, I also have a note pad by my side so that I can jot down goals for the new year as they pop into my head.

I always feel a sense of excitement about the New Year starting and the things that could be accomplished.

This year I will be letting the New Year in in Edinburgh Scotland with my brother, his lovely wife and some friends. As well as some yummy food and champagne we will also experiencing our first ‘Hogmanany’ which a Scottish word for the last day of the year and has come to mean celebrating the New year. There are all sorts of events taking place. The one I am most looking forward to are the fireworks. To see more about hogmanay check out the website. http://www.edinburghshogmanay.com

Whatever you are doing this New Years Eve I want to wish you a very happy time!

Hugs,
Jacqui

This week has been a health check up week for both me and Kitty. Every year, in the middle of December I visit my doctor and have a full check up. While I don’t enjoy fasting for 12 hours before the appointment, I always feel good when I leave knowing that I am in good shape for the year ahead.

Kitty also had a check up with her doctor (aka her vet At home there is nothing Kitty dislikes more than her carry case that she travels in. Despite it being made of very pleasing fabric (to the human eye at least) and very comfortable, the minute it appears Kitty knows she will be going on a trip and she dives under the bed for safety. I have developed a whole routine shrouded in secrecy so she doesn’t see the carry case ahead of time. The thing that amuses me the most in all this, is as soon as we get TO the vets, suddenly the carry case is her favorite place in the whole world and it’s very hard to get her out!

If you want to listen to this article, click here.

Getting a good night’s sleep when you are an adult with ADHD is not an easy task. The reasons vary from not being able to switch your mind off to the medication you are taking. If you have trouble sleeping, then no caffeine near bedtime and no stimulating brain activities two hours before bed are all tips you are familiar with. This article addresses other strategies for a good night’s sleep.

1. Fresh AirFresh air is a great way to experience deep, satisfying sleep. It is easy to spend the day going from one man-made environment to the next. We make these environments pleasant with heating or air conditioning, and can go from home, to the car, to work, to the gym and back home without ever spending much time breathing in fresh air. It’s important to ensure you get fresh air into your lungs during the day. Also, leave your bedroom window open a little at night to keep the fresh air entering your body even while you sleep.
2. Essential OilsEssential oils can have a powerful effect on the body and lavender oil has been found to be helpful when it comes to sleep. Scientific evidence has shown that lavender oil encourages relaxation, reduction of anxiety and improvement of the quality of sleep. Plus it’s very easy to use. You can pop a couple of drops of the oil into your bath before bed or pour a few drops on a handkerchief and tuck it inside your pillow case.
3. Get a Great MattressMattresses are the most important item of furniture in your home. Not only is it the item you use the most, if you aren’t getting a good night’s sleep then the quality of your whole life is affected. Everyone has their own preference of what a comfortable mattress is – hard, soft, medium, etc. When you are choosing a mattress, take into account your preferences and also remember it’s hard to sleep when your mattress is too small for your body size.
4. BeddingMake sure your bedding is made of natural fibres rather than synthetic choices. This is because it’s important that your body can breathe at night, and that it can regulate your temperature. If you become too hot you will sweat and if you become too cool you will shiver, both of which disturb your sleep. Cotton, wool and even silk are great choices.
5. Body and MindIf your day didn’t stretch and stimulate you mentally and physically, your ability to both fall and stay asleep will be affected. So make sure you tax your brain and your body every day. That could be taking up a new physical activity or joining a club or doing the New York Times crossword.

The action steps to getting a good night’s sleep are

1. Spend time each day breathing in fresh air.
2. Open your bedroom window a little.
3. Buy some lavender oil.
4. Assess your mattress… is it time for a new one?
5. Check your bedding. If it’s man-made, invest in some new linen.
6. Set yourself a mental and physical challenge every day.

Sweet dreams.