Last weekend was a busy one. Not only did I celebrate my birthday, I also moved! Seven of my amazing friends spent the day lifting and carrying all my belongings to my new home. The photo shows the beer I offered as refreshment (it also helped to wash down the pizza). There was lots of snow outside so it was the perfect storage place. I was under the weather with a really nasty flu bug. I am back to normal again and excited to be starting the next year in good health and a new home.
A guest article by Bonnie Hutchinson, Soul Power Wisdom Inc.
In the past week, I’ve had conversations with more than one person who was feeling totally panicked – at least in that moment.
Normally these friends and colleagues are good at rolling with whatever is going on, but they just plain ran out of optimism or even coping strategies. Their inner well was dry. They hit a wall of terror. “Despair” is not too strong a word for what some were experiencing.
I know that place too – the place of blackness – though not lately.
Here are a few emergency measures you might find useful when panic hits or when you feel yourself sliding into terror, fear, immobilization, being down on yourself, feeling like a failure, feeling hopeless and desperate, or any other symptoms of a downward spiral.
As with physical emergency measures, these are not intended to be long-term solutions. These are just “first aid” tactics to survive the moment until you can get more help. Know that you will regain your equilibrium and get back to being the brilliant and confident person you really are.
Seven Things You Can Do By Yourself
1. Just Notice.
First, just notice what is happening to you. Don’t try to fight it off. Resistance will make it stronger. Instead, just notice, “Oh, I am feeling panic. Oh, I am starting to think negative thoughts. Oh, I seem to be feeling desperate. . .” The more you can go into observation mode, the more that will help to neutralize your experience a bit, and also make it seem separate from you. “Oh, I notice panic sensations are flooding me right now, but I am not panic. I will just let the panic flow through and go somewhere else where it is more useful.”
(I can do this easily when I am in a good state, but when I most need it – when I am in a panic state – I remember to do it maybe half the time! And I’ve been practicing for a few years. If you can do this even for a few seconds, not only will it help, but you can also congratulate yourself for being amazing!)
2. Breathe.
Take some deep breaths. Breathe in really deeply and hold for a few seconds. Breathe out slowly and completely and hold for a few seconds. If nothing else, that creates a tiny distraction from the panic, and it also gets more oxygen into your brain. If you can, imagine you are breathing in light that is permeating your body and your emotions. Imagine you are breathing out panic and negativity and sending it someplace where it can do good.
3. Stretch and Move.
Stand up. Stre-e-e-tch. Reach as high as you can. Spread your arms as wide as they will go. Stretch out your legs. Lift your shoulders and then let them drop and roll. Bend forward so you can stretch your upper and lower back. Bend backwards to open up your abdomen and chest muscles. Bend from side to side to loosen your side muscles.
Then shake your hands and arms; jump around; dance; do anything to shake off that awful immobilizing energy. Ask it to go somewhere that it will do good – but not in your life or your environment.
4. “At this moment. . .”
When you’re able to lift out of the dark feelings and thoughts, even for a few moments, think, “At this very moment, this very nanosecond, I am okay. At this very second, I have enough oxygen. I can breathe. I have access to enough food. I have access to shelter. I am warm enough. I am alive and surviving at this very second. Right now, at least for this moment, I am okay.”
Continue to get back into the present moment by noticing your body and noticing your environment. “I am right here right now, and right in this moment I am okay.”
5. Treat Yourself With Kindness.
Be kind to yourself. Be gentle. The panic and the negative thoughts have a huge impact on your body, emotions, mind and spirit. If you had a physical injury, you would take care of that. Panic and negative thoughts are also injurious, and a huge energy drain. Give yourself permission to go easy for a while.
When you start arguing with yourself about how much needs to be done and how you should just keep pushing and you don’t have time to take a break, remind yourself that if you rest for a while and take care of yourself, your energy will be clearer and you will get more done better and faster.
(I am pretty good at this when I am in a healthy state. When I most need it – when I’m into overwhelm – I find it harder to convince myself of this truth! That may be your experience too. So when you allow yourself to take care of yourself – and you will – congratulate yourself for being amazing!)
6. Change Your Perspective - Literally.
Physically change your location. Move to a different room. Sit in a different chair. Look a different direction than you usually do. If it’s at all practical, go outside. Move around. Find something to look at and listen to that is different.
As you do that, consciously think, “I am changing my perspective. I know there is a different way to see and hear and perceive this situation. I am changing my perspective so I can experience a more expansive view.”
7. Visualize the Spark of Hope Growing.
When you are a bit out of the absolute-awful stage, imagine that the energy you are feeling is really black, and from somewhere in the universe – you don’t even need to know where – there is a tiny speck of hope. In your imagination, watch that tiny speck of hope land somewhere in the black energy. And then imagine that the tiny speck of hope is growing bigger and bigger.
If you keep imagining this for a few minutes, you might even see that the speck of hope eventually is bigger than the blackness and is able to transform all of the blackness into sparkles of light.
Call someone!
None of us can handle everything alone – and none of us needs to. A great act of strength is to reach out for help. Friends, colleagues, family members, pets, professionals, even passing strangers are available to help us. Remember that truly strong and courageous people are not afraid to ask for help.
A few years ago, about five of my friends had a deal. Any one of us could call any other of us – 24/7, day or night, no questions asked, and just say, “Please tell me I’m a competent human being.” We didn’t actually call each other very often – just knowing we could was a huge support.
Beyond human support, there is a cosmos of energy beings and infinite Source energy that is available to all of us if we just ask.
Your Coaching Challenge
If you find that you are more susceptible than usual to panic or overwhelm mode, use some or all of these techniques to shift your energy until you can get more help.
If you are in a state of equilibrium, make note of these techniques, and set up support systems that will be available to you for the next time you find yourself slipping beyond the edges of what you can usually handle.
Going Global
Many people around the world are feeling more fearful and constricted than usual right now. Imagine that sparks of hope are landing all over the earth, and then expanding to turn dark energy into sparkles of light.
Adults with ADD often complain of a poor short-term memory. Research has shown that there is a link between impaired memory and ADD. However, the good news is that your memory is not a stagnant commodity. Your memory can be improved no matter what your age, IQ or if you have ADD.
Here are a few tips and tricks to improve your memory.
Practice self care
When you take care of your basic needs, such as food, exercise and sleep, your body repays you with improved memory.
Eat. The phrase “you are what you eat” is really true. You need to feed your brain in order that it can function at its best. Eat a well-balanced diet of protein, fresh fruit and vegetables, and whole grains. Take a good multi-vitamin too, to support your body, as well as an Omega-3 supplement.
Exercise. Exercise helps increase the flow of blood to your brain. If you have been eating good food then the brain gets these nutrients.
Relax. A stressed person’s memory ability is reduced. One particularly stressful period in my life, my short-term memory became non-existent. I realized where the term “brain like a sieve” came from. However, when the stress disbursed, my memory returned. So be sure to do things to relax. Meditation and exercise are two great ways.
Sleep. Think of the last time you didn’t get a good night’s sleep. Was your mental ability a bit “off”? Lack of sleep reduces your memory. Make sure you get enough sleep every night.
Avoid alcohol and drugs such as Marijuana. Both seriously affect your ability to remember.
As well as taking care of yourself physically, there are some behavioral changes you can make to increase your memory.
Don’t multi task. Do one task at a time. Not only will you be more productive, your memory will be stronger. This is because when you are scatted you give less attention to what you are doing and your memory suffers. Your memory is only as good as the attention you gave to the incoming information. Don’t be alarmed if you have ADD. It might be harder for you than your peers, but it’s still possible.
Be mindful of doing task. This is particularly true of simple everyday tasks, such as switching the oven off, locking up before going to bed, or turning your lights off in your car. When you are mindful of what you are doing, you won’t have to second guess yourself or get up in the middle of the night to check and double check.
Develop routines. Developing routines gives your memory a rest. For example, you might want to develop a night time routine. Rather than every night having to reinvent the wheel, write down four things you need to do that you aren’t doing, such as pack bag for tomorrow, get clothes out for the next day, take vitamins, put the dishwasher on. Done often enough (habits are said to form somewhere between 21 and 28 days), then this is part of your routine and you no longer have to remember to do these tasks.
Use memory saving tools. I am always surprised at the number of people who don’t use an agenda to write down their appointments, birthdays, etc. They tell me they have a good memory and don’t need to use one. That might be the case, but it’s quite stressful having all those dates and times running through your head all the time. Instead, save your memory for faces and names, and other details and facts. Use memory saving tools such as address books and agendas to give your memory a rest.
Keep on doing the things that work for you. You probably have developed certain tricks to help you to remember to do things. For example, leaving the empty carton of milk out on the counter to remind yourself to buy more milk or tying a knot in your handkerchief. Keep on using these tricks and develop more. There is no shame in this.
Keep your brain alive. Embrace new mental skills. Learning a new language or completing puzzles such as Sudoku and crosswords are not only fun, but also really help your memory.
February 2nd is Groundhog Day. The tradition is that if the groundhog sees his shadows, there will be six more weeks of winter.
The 1993 movie Groundhog Day has Bill Murray playing a grumpy meteorologist who covers a story on Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. Murray hates the town and its cheery residents, so when he gets struck living the same day again and again, it’s somewhat of a nightmare.
The interesting thing is that many of us experience our own Groundhog Day effect. We live out the same day after day. We repeat things again and again, even if they make us miserable and unhealthy. We want change and even promise ourselves, “Okay, so tomorrow I will do…” But actual change doesn’t happen because habits are so entrenched in our lives. Creating new ones feels particularly impossible, even though in our head, the new ideas look and feel great.
Four years ago, I knew there were some BIG changes I needed to make. I thought about them for months and finally I changed one thing. I moved offices from a shared space to my very own. Once I made one big change in my life, the resistance to change had been broken. That same month, I ended a long-term relationship and moved houses. While these changes were big ones, yours don’t need to be. Take a few minutes now to think about what changes you would like in your life. What changes in your life do you need to make so you aren’t experiencing your very own Ground Hog Day? More exercise? More fun? Less stress? Start a new hobby, get a new job, meet some new friends?
If making changes in your life is really hard, start small. Making a big change, such as finding a new job, can be scary, particularly if you have been in the same position for a long time. Start to shake things up, but in a gentle, non-threatening way. Don’t do anything about moving jobs until you feel inspired or excited. Start making changes in your life that are completely unrelated to the new job. Move some furniture around at home, try a new recipe, mix up your routine at the gym, order a different meal at your favourite restaurant, read a book by a new author. This way you are building up your “change muscle.” Your body and mind will become used to new and different things and then bigger changes will become easy and often fun and exciting.
Change is revitalizing, refreshing and it boosts your self-esteem and confidence. It can also make us happier and more youthful?
What small change are you going to implement tomorrow to break out of your Groundhog Day?
Life is full of exciting choices. It’s easy to get distracted and do the fun, enjoyable tasks, and leave the boring or difficult ones for tomorrow. The problem is that every day there are new enjoyable things to do and tomorrow never comes.
The upside of procrastination is that when we decide, consciously or subconsciously, to leave the task for another day, we feel relieved because we don’t have to do that task, at least for the moment.
Unfortunately, there are multiple downsides to procrastination. There’s anxiety of feeling overwhelmed with so much to do and no idea of when we will have the time to do everything. Our confidence is reduced as we feel we can’t depend on ourselves. Then there is negative self-talk when we remember all the tasks we keep procrastinating on, like “I am so bad!” or “I never get anything done.” Negative self-talk in the long term is probably the most damaging effect of procrastination, because it will eventually lower our self-esteem.
In contrast, the sense of accomplishment we experience when we finish a task is huge! This energizes us and we want to do the next task on our list.
The tasks we have been putting off are rarely as difficult or time-consuming as we think. The anxiety that we create by not working on the task is far greater than actually doing the task.
So what can be done about procrastination? Below is a nine-step Anti-Procrastination ACTION PLAN to gently, but effectively, help you blitz through all your procrastination items.
You will find it fun to see your “Ultimate To Do List” shrinking! Good luck and enjoy the process!
Last weekend, I did something that I thought was impossible. I broke a piece of wood into two pieces with my bare hand. I was in total shock afterward, but a good kind of shock. Breaking that wood was such a stretch for me that afterward, my mind started to play tricks on me. I wondered if I did really do it. Luck for me, there was a room full of people watching me and could verify that I did actually do it. AND I have the piece of wood to prove it!
People with ADD are very good at achieving things and not acknowledging them, whether it’s a university degree, a new job, pay raise or a personal accomplishment. Often they believe that they are undeserving, that it happened by luck or that people believe they have more skills and talents than they actually do. They often feel like a fraud and that one day they will get found it.
Of course, you do deserve these things because you worked hard and the skills and talents that are required. It could be because you have struggled behind the scenes to do what others seem to do more easily. It doesn’t matter how you achieved it, the biggest challenge is making it real for yourself.
So what can you do to make it real for yourself? To really acknowledge to yourself what you accomplished:
We want your achievements to really sink into your body and your brain so that you can stand tall and say what you accomplished with a smile on your face and the knowledge that you earned it. If you have any other habits that have worked for you in the past, keep on doing them.
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