Pets and ADHD

dogPets and ADHD

Photo by Reanna Evoy.

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Having pets in your life when you have ADHD is very beneficial not only in reducing unwanted ADHD symptoms, but also for your overall physical health and happiness. While you may be thinking, “but I can barely take care of myself, let alone another living creature,” it has been my experience that adults with ADHD make fabulous pet owners. While they may struggle with the stresses of life, their pet’s health is never compromised. Far from it.

Here are five reasons why having a pet is good for you if you have ADHD:

1. Self-esteem

Self-esteem levels are often low in adults with ADHD after years of not measuring up to society’s “norms.” The good news is that your pet does wonders for your self-esteem. They are completely non-judgmental and provide you with unconditional love regardless of if you took the trash out or did a good presentation at work. Plus, knowing that you are able to take care of them so well will further boost your self-esteem.

2. Stress

Living with ADHD can definitely be stressful. Trying to live up to your own expectations and that of other people, missing deadlines and appointments despite making huge efforts, losing items or forgetting information can definitely be stressful. It is a double-edged sword because when you are stressed your ADHD symptoms are exacerbated. The good news is that it only takes 15 to 30 minutes with your cat or dog or even watching your fish is enough time for chemical changes to take place in your body and for you to feel less anxious and stressed.

3. Healthy Habits

Creating and maintaining healthy habits can be really tricky. A benefit of having a pet, particularly a dog, is that they provide you with structure to your day. They need you to wake up at a regular time in the morning so they can go for a walk, and since you know you are going to wake up at roughly the same time ever morning, this forces you to go to bed at a sensible time every night. Also, as dogs need walking, you will never forget to do your daily exercise.

4. Social Contact

Social interaction is vital to our mental and physical health. Various studies have found that dog owners have many more interactions with other people when they are walking their dog than a non-dog owner walking the same route. Adults with ADHD can find social interaction difficult, so have a dog is exceedingly helpful in facilitating this. Not only will you speak to more people when you are out and about with your dog, you will also gain confidence talking to people in all situations.

5. Physical Health

While you might think that dogs seem to be the most beneficial pet, there is good news for cat owners, too. In one longitudinal study it was found that people who didn’t own a cat were 40% more likely to die of a heart attack than people that did. Another study showed that cat owners had fewer strokes than non-cat owners.

Actions

  1. Consider getting a pet! While it isn’t a decision to be taken lightly, they do provide you with endless joy and laughter and they are good for your ADHD.
  2. If you are uncertain for whatever reason, remember knowledge is power. Do some reading on what taking care of a pet would mean. Also, talk to other pet owners.
  3. Offer to pet sit for friends or family as practice.

ADHD and Weekly Reviews

rated 300x199ADHD and Weekly ReviewsWhen you have ADHD and want to make some positive changes in your life, chances are you are busy, busy, busy. However, sometimes it’s important to step back a little from the action and review how things are going.

Spending time reflecting sounds boring and time consuming, but you can make it fun, and it doesn’t take long, just 5 or 10 minutes every week. Create a new Word document, then each week write down what worked for you and what didn’t. You might review your week on a Friday afternoon, or a Sunday morning. The day doesn’t matter as long as it makes sense to you. An entry in your review document might look something like this

What is working:

1) Setting my alarm for 7:00 a.m. rather than 6:30 a.m. is good because I don’t press snooze, I just get up on the first ring. Got to work on time 3 times out of 5.

2) Setting the timer for 15 minutes at the end of the day to tidy the kitchen. Really enjoying waking up to a tidy kitchen.

What isn’t working:

1) Exercising every day, this didn’t happen, but I do have a new DVD player now which is installed ready for my workouts next week.

You can keep on doing the things that worked and tweak, change or completely stop doing the things that aren’t working.

Writing everything down is more powerful than just a mental review. It’s easier to notices themes that appear when everything is in writing. It also becomes a celebration of all the process you are making because it’s very easy to forget…even the good things. Finally, in times of stress when all our good habits go out of the window and this document is a reminder of what you were doing before the stressful event happened. You can jump back in to your good habits without having to reinvent the wheel.

So! Your challenge this week is to start your weekly reviews!

ADHD Productivity Tip: How To Stop Waiting For The 11th Hour To Get Things Done

calendarADHD Productivity Tip: How To Stop Waiting For The 11th Hour To Get Things DoneAs an adult with ADHD you probably wait till the 11th hour to start working on a project. Then with the deadline so close, you have no choice, but to sit down, focus and work on it. There is no time to procrastinate, get distracted, or wait till  you feel inspired, you just have to get it done. There’s a sense of urgency, you are racing against the clock, and you are doing what needs to be done. Even though you are pleased with your progress it is stressful. You aren’t totally sure you will  make the deadline; (even though you do) you work through the night, cancel social arrangements, and barely have time to eat. When you hand in the project, you breathe a sigh of relief, feel victorious and vow never to let that happen  again. You really mean it! However, when the next project is assigned to you, you feel it hanging over you, but just can’t bring yourself work on it…until the 11th hour.

This is very common when you have ADHD, and it happens whatever age you are, from students to 60 year old CEO’s.

One strategy (that rarely works) is to break the project down and give yourself little deadlines along the way. In theory, this is great; you definitely work well when you have a deadline. In practice, it doesn’t work; you know those deadlines  you made for yourself are not ‘real’ and don’t count.

However, there is a help, and it comes from Jerry Seinfeld.

Jerry realized he came up with his best jokes when he spent time writing every day. However, forcing himself to write every day wasn’t easy. So he created a simple system that would motivate him to spend 1 hour a day writing. On days he  wrote, he put red cross on a wall calendar. After a few crosses he became motivated to see the calendar fill with red. He didn’t want to break the chain of crosses so he kept writing. This strategy now has a life of its own its called ‘Don’t break the chain’.

‘Don’t break the chain’ is very effective for ADHD adults because takes emphasis off deadlines, that you might forget or procrastinate over. Instead it focuses on consistent daily effort. This might feel strange at first, but it really helps in   11th hour panic. It also gives self confidence because you know will be able to get the important things done.

Below are some tips to get started:

1) What one action a day would make a huge difference in your life? Jerry’s was writing, what is yours?

2) Print out your calendar http://budurl.com/8lpk.

3) Post it on your wall and put a red pen nearby.

4) You can use this method for more than one area of your life. However, for the best success rate start with one and you can add another after a month.

5) Good luck…and remember don’t break the chain!

ADHD and Anxiety: A Simple Strategy

If you have ADHD, then there is a high chance that you have Anxiety too. Fifty percent of ADHD adults also have an anxiety disorder, whether it’s Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Panic Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Social phobia or specific phobias, e.g., fear of flying or fear.

While a small amount of anxiousness can help keep you safe and out of danger, the type of anxiety that many ADHDers experience is debilitating. It stops you from living your life fully and can result in some problematic situations. For example, if you are too anxious to take action on an important task, like a work project, a student assignment or taxes there are negative consequences.

In previous articles, I have outlined healthy ways to reduce anxiety. However, those ideas take a little time to start to see results. Today I wanted to share something that will help you in the moment when you are feeling anxious.

It’s a 5 minute video that walks you through an EFT tapping exercise to reduce anxiety.

anx vidADHD and Anxiety: A Simple Strategy

http://budurl.com/zu84

EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique releases emotional blocks that stand between you and good health. It is a type of psychological acupressure that uses the same energy meridians as acupuncture. If you are a little bit skeptical, I totally understand. I am a nurse and like many people who are use to traditional western medicine ‘energy meridians’ do sound strange at first. However, just because something sounds strange to us, doesn’t mean it doesn’t work!

The combination of tapping and a positive voice; helps clear your anxiety and allows you to continue your day.

Your actions for this week are to try the tapping exercise at least once! If you experience a lot of anxiety, try the tapping every day in the morning. Plus at times during the day when you feel anxious.You will notice a big difference. Happy Tapping icon smileADHD and Anxiety: A Simple Strategy

ADHD and Marijuana

hemp leaf ADHD and MarijuanaAdults with ADD use marijuana to self medicate. They enjoy the calm feeling and the relief from anxiety, worry, depression that it provides. It can also act as a sleep aid. Many of my clients say that when they smoke marijuana it makes them feel ‘normal’.

However, while smoking marijuana gives the illusion of making you feel better, it actually makes your ADHD worse. It reduces your ability to learn, remember negativity affects your motivation and increases procrastination. It also makes you distracted and depressed. This is particularly bad news as it means you smoke more to block the pain out. Your sleep pattern is also negatively affected. Keeping a sleep schedule that is in line with the rest of the population is already challenging when you have ADHD. Smoking pot really throws the pattern off even further.

ADHD researcher, Rachel Gittleman-Klein, advises adults and children with ADD not to try Marijuana, Ever. It gives you such a sense of calmness while at the same time the ability to mentally fantasize. That combination is so irresistible to the ADHD brain you will want to keep on using it.

If you are already smoking marijuana and you are ready to change, there are ways to stop.

1) Visit your doctor and explain the situation and that you want to start treating your ADHD.

2) Start implementing the Untapped Brilliance Strategies, when you have ADHD your brain is low on dopamine; you can find unhealthy ways to increase your dopamine, or healthy ways, e.g. Omega 3, ADHD friendly diet, exercise and meditation.

3) Find a Marijuana support group in your area and attend.

4) Become a detective and pin point everything that smoking helped you with. Anxiety, worry, depression, etc. There are lots of ways to treat all of these without smoking. For example with depression, medication and counseling are both options.

5) Don’t beat yourself over, ‘wasted years’ the important thing is you are making changes now. Focus on ‘the now’ and the future.

6) Change your life. Making a decision to stop smoking marijuana is the first step. The next is to shake up your life. Having the same friends, doing the same things just minus smoking is very hard for you and won’t have such a high success rate, instead do things differently. Spend the time you would have spent smoking doing new activities. When you add things to your life not just taking things away, success becomes easier and less painful.

How do I maintain focus in a high stress work environment?

keyboardHow do I maintain focus in a high stress work environment?First it’s important to take care of yourself with the first 5 steps of Untapped Brilliance.
This means, taking Omega 3 supplements, exercise regularly, eat a healthy ADHD diet, daily meditation and get enough sleep.

People find this a boring answer, as it is information they have heard before and they were hoping for something new and sexy. However, the reason you have heard about these things before is because they work!

These actions provide you with strong and solid foundations. A building with strong foundations can survive adverse weather conditions. In contrast, a building whose foundation is weak or non-existent will crumble with a slightest puff of wind. When you take care of yourself with those 5 steps you will find you are able to focus, concentrate and emotionally able to handle your high stress work environment.

There are other things you can do too when you are actually at work:

1) Take breaks. If you are busy and stressed you think that working through your breaks will help. It doesn’t. Breaks help you to be   focused and on top of your game when you return.

2) Be in the moment. I know this sounds hard, but when you are mindful and focus on the task you are doing at that given moment, you will feel grounded and centered. You will get a  sense of job satisfaction and if at a later point you question if you did it or to a good standard, you will know you did.

3) Positive Affirmation. Have a positive affirmation that you repeat to yourself in times of stress. It doesn’t matter what that is, so long as it makes you feel good. A few examples would be…’I am doing really well’ ‘I work well in a busy environment’ ‘I am focused and grounded’

When you talk to yourself calming, kindly and positively you will notice a big difference on your physical performance.

Do you get the Weekend Blahs?

weekendblahsDo you get the Weekend Blahs?

Weekends can be a challenge when you have ADHD.  That might sound counter intuitive, as you would guess the stressors of a busy week at work would be more tricky than a weekend of leisure.  However, ADHDers can find unstructured time unsettling.  In the week, there is a routine, work, exercise, after work activities, eating, watching a favourite show and then bed.

Then weekend comes, the time you are ‘supposed’ to feel happy and relaxed, yet you can feel lethargic, depressed and unmotivated.  While there are things you could be doing, nothing really grabs you.

There are several reasons for the weekend blah feeling, but essentially you like having goals and stimulation and relaxing doing nothing isn’t something that makes you feel good.

If this is true for you, create a routine for yourself for the weekends too.
For example, a brunch with friends on Saturday morning, an early morning Sunday run, and a low key movie night on Sunday evening.  This type of semi-structured weekend allows you to spend some time with people, which is important to get inspired and stimulated and also gives you time to run your errands and catch up on household chores.

Once you have created a weekend routine, there is no brain work involved.  You will find that you are more productive and happy, than if there were 2 empty days a week in your schedule.  When Monday rolls around you will find you are fresh and regenerated for the week ahead.

ADHD Decision Making

 

ADHD Adults usually fall into two camps. Those who make decisions very quickly and those who can’t make a decision without lots of  stress and mental anguish. If you fall into the latter group, here are five tips to help make decisions easily and with confidence.

1) Build up your decision-making muscle. Having a hard time making decisions can be due to low self esteem. However the more you make decisions, the easier it will be for you to make them. Start with the small things (chicken or fish for dinner?) and then medium sized decisions (where to go on vacation) and before you know it the big decisions won’t be hard anymore. You will be decisive and confident in the decisions you make.

imagejacquiADHD Decision Making2) You can only make a decision based on the knowledge that you have at this time. It is not helpful to say two months or two years later, “Well, if I had known X then I wouldn’t have done Y.” That is the power of hindsight. If you have a tendency to second guess yourself, then write down in a safe place (journal, computer document) all the reasons why you reached your decision, and the decision making process.

3) For bigger decisions, like moving homes, use this technique. Project yourself a year from now and picture yourself in either scenario. Picture yourself in your new home or in exactly the same place as you are now. Which feels better? That is your answer!

4) Listen to your gut. Before you start to analyze every option in your head, using your traditional mind, listen to what your body is saying. Some people call this their intuition. Others a message from their gut, but that little voice or feeling is very accurate and the more you listen to it, the stronger the feelings or voice will get.

5) Whatever decision you do make, it is not “wrong.” Don’t beat yourself up and put yourself through mental torture if you made a decision and wish you had made a making much easier. So what if you think the fish looks better than the chicken you ordered? It might look nicer but it could taste horrible, and you can always order the fish next time.

ADHD and Self-Esteem

medailleADHD and Self Esteem
The term ‘Self esteem’ means to respect and have positive opinion of yourself. Your self esteem is entwined with your self confidence and sense of self worth. Unfortunately, adults with ADHD tend to have low levels of self esteem.
Here is a list of 15 things that having low self-esteem can result in:
3. Loneliness
5. Problems in relationships
6. Underachievement
9. Lack of assertiveness
10. Body image problems
12. Unable to ‘own’ your achievements
13. Feel helpless with no control of their life
14. Feel undeserving of being happy
15. Blaming others
Our self esteem begins to form during our childhood. The reason so many ADHD adults have-low self esteem is because their behaviour is different from the ‘norm’. Your high energy, impulsivity, perhaps poor social skills, was likely to receive negative
messages from the adults in your life. Rather than receiving lots of positive reinforcement that creates a healthy self esteem, you received negative comments which causes low self esteem. The good news is that it doesn’t matter how low your self esteem is, you can start to improve yours right now.

Here are five tips:

1) Replace your negative self talk with positive. After years of getting negative feedback you internalise it. The negative chatter in your head can be very debilitating and result in anxiety, constant worrying, and a sense of hopelessness. When you catch yourself saying something negative, counteract that with something positive or neutralise it. For example, ‘I can never do anything right’ remind yourself of some of the things you have accomplished. Or, ‘I still haven’t tidied my desk’ to ‘I haven’t tided my desk yet’
2) Set yourself up for success. Break your big goals into small very do-able actions. When you achieve them, give yourself a few minutes to enjoy that feeling of accomplishment and congratulate yourself.
3) Give yourself daily rewards. After achieving a task or tasks reward yourself. Make the mental connection that you are having this reward because you did____ task. This gives you positive enforcement. The rewards don’t need to be complex, watching a movie, seeing a friend, listening to a new CD are all great examples.
4) Take a realistic inventory of yourself and your life. Are there things that are bothering you? Are you a little over weight, do you wish you have a tidy and clean house? If yes, then get proactive and make those changes.
5) Break out of your comfort zone. Do something that scares and excites you. Go on a trip on your own, speak in public, do a parachute jump. Whenever you break out of your comfort zone, you grow and develop and your self esteem increases.
While most of these suggestions are based on actions and ‘doing,’  you are already an awesome person. When your self esteem is low, it’s hard taking that on board. So trust me on this one, you are a magnificent human being.

ADHD and Anger

 

lion statueADHD and AngerBefore writing this article, I looked up the definition of anger in the Oxford English Dictionary and what I found  was:
” the strong feeling caused by extreme displeasure”

However that seems a very delicate way to describe the intense emotions of fury and rage that engulfs an angry person and results in aggression and violence.

My personal experience of very angry people was in a hospital setting during my days as a nurse. Angry people are a little scary because of their unpredictability. You don’t know what they are going to do next, hurt you, themselves (e.g by hitting a wall) or both. In fact even the angry person rarely knows what they are going to do during this time.

Every day life, can evoke extreme anger in people, that is why there is road rage, fights, and damage to personal property.


Anger management is a problem for adults with ADHD for four reasons:

1) The impulsive aspect of ADHD means if you feel angry, you immediately express it. You don’t get the ‘lead time’ that a non ADHD person has even if it’s only a few seconds.

2) Low levels of frustration, mean that you experience frustration rapidly which can then trigger anger.

3) Mood swings,  ADHD adults can experience the whole range of emotions, from happiness, sadness,and anger all in the space of a morning. People with ADHD experience these mood changes more than a non ADHD person.

4) Stress, having ADHD is stressful. If your ADHD is unmanaged, you feel constantly overwhelmed and stressed.

Anger is a normal human emotion, and it can be useful. However, if you are feeling that your expression of anger is holding you back in life, or is becoming problematic for your relationships, here is what to do:

1.Walk away
No matter how hard, walk away from the provoking situation. The more you do this, the easier it will become. You can resolve the issue later. Because you have ADHD, your anger comes and goes quickly. So it won’t be long before you feel calm again.

2.Develop assertiveness skills
People that express anger, worry they will be taken advantage of. However expressing anger is just one way to deal with situations. Since the repercussions of anger are so devastating to personal relationships, assertiveness is a great tool to develop.

3.Reflect
The intense anger you feel, is unlikely to be a result of what is happening in the current situation. It is more likely to be due to an unresolved issue from the past, and the current situation reminds you of the upsetting past experience. You might need help from a professional to assist you to make these connections, but getting to the root cause can be very freeing.

4.Learn to express yourself
Getting angry is how you express ‘extreme displeasure’. However, you can learn to do that in other ways too. You will be pleasantly surprised how much you achieve when you are developing good communications.

5.Exercise
Exercise helps to dispel negative emotions. Exercise every day.
You might consider taking up a Martial art. Not only is it a great exercise, it is a great way to discipline your emotions and channel them in a controlled way.

Remember, experiencing anger doesn’t make you a bad person. After having an angry explosion, you might feel exposed, ashamed and mortified. Don’t dwell on these feelings to make yourself feel bad. Do however use them them as a catalyst for change.