In a world where the media portrayal of what normal is has us all graduating from University at 21 years old, advancing up the corporate ladder in our mid 20′s and happily married with children at 30. It’s good to know to that the world is changing and there is a new type of normal.

Working life
People no longer work Monday to Friday, 9-5 in the same job until they retire at 65 years old. Today we have more career changes than past generations. There is flex time, satellite offices and stay-at-home-dads. You can be a self made multi-millionaire in your early 20′s (for example Facebook’s Mark Zucherberg) and keep working because you love it into your 90′s.

Parenting
Traditionally, parents were of the opposite sex and had children in the ‘peak birth rate years’ of 20- 24. Now there is an increasing number of first time parents in their 40′s and it is no longer taboo to be a single parent. Elton John is the perfect example that you can be a new parent whatever our age or sexuality.

Marriage
The average age for first marriages is getting higher and higher. At the moment, it is 28 years old for men and 26 years for women.

What does this have to do with ADHD? I wanted to illustrate that the old linear way of living isn’t the norm any more. We have more freedom to make choices based on what suits us than ever before. You are never behind; there is no rule that you are a certain age when you should get married, or buy a house, or have a particular position at work.

When you free yourself from these norms you give yourself permission to live your life at a pace that works for you will thrive. When you have ADHD it’s important to do what makes you tick, to listen to your internal messages rather than any external messages. If you do this, you will experience more happiness and success than ever before.

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After I have been working with a client for a little while and they have started to experience success, a strange phenomenon occurs. They enjoy the success at first “I can’t believe I am doing this!” They are thrilled, I am thrilled, but then they get scared. They don’t know if they can keep it up. They are in new territory as their whole lives they have been struggling with the basics. Like having an organized home, or arriving on time, or making time for projects that are important to them or exercisingregularly.

After a short time of coaching, they are doing exactly what they have always wanted to be doing. However, because in the past they haven’t been able to maintain these behaviors they get scared and fear this too will be a passing phase and soon they will be back to living in frustration.

This raises a few points;  First, if you really want to make changes in your life then it will happen. It might take a few starts and stops, but when you want something and you try different strategies until one that suits you a positive and permanent change will happen. It can’t not.

Second, your brain and self image of yourself has to catch up with the new you.

If you have always been the person who is late, who constantly arrives 30 minutes behind schedule, coat tails flying, with breathless apologies, there is an identity shift that has to occur. You are now the punctually person who arrives on time, calm, organized and confident.  After your physical behavior has changed, a mental shift has to take place to incorporate the new you. This might be a bit uncomfortable at first. To help this identity shift you can replace your negative chatter ” You are always so late’ ‘Can you ever arrive on time’ with positive and self talk such as ‘I am a punctual time keeper!’ This will help the new behavior become an integrated part of who you are much faster.

Third, it could be an ‘Upper Limit’ problem. In his book, ‘The Big Leap’, Gay Hendricks identifies the concept of the Upper Limit. We all have an inner setting that dictates, how much success we allow ourselves to experience. If we exceed that inner setting (for example, by changing our behaviors)  we get uncomfortable and so sabotage ourselves in order to get back to our comfort zone. Our individual upper limit setting is programmed in childhood, but can be reset. For example, when you are feeling good about your new behaviors, watch out for negative feelings or thinking as this is a sign you are at your Upper Limit and self sabotage could be on its way.

If you are doing well managing your unwanted ADHD behaviors, yet are scared because you don’t know if it will last here, is what to do:

1) Remind yourself this is a normal feeling
2) Remember positive permanent change is always possible, even when you have ADHD
3) Reinforce new behaviors with positive self talk
4) Be aware of the Upper Limit concept and get comfortable being uncomfortable with your new success as soon it will be comfortable!

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Billionaire ADHDer, Richard Branson, says that on days he exercises on he has 4 extra hours of productivity. Perfect proof that time spent exercising is an investment not an expenditure.

2)      Allows you to focus on the task at hand

Try this experiment, next time you are sitting down trying to focus on a task, but just can’t. Get up and do 30 push ups or go for a run around the block. Now, sit down again. I bet you are able to focus and get that task done in record breaking time! This is because brain activities (like focusing and paying attention) are fed with oxygen and aerobic exercise increases the amount of oxygen in the brain.

3)      Can replace stimulant medication

In his book, Spark: The revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, Dr John Ratey, says exercise can be a substitute for stimulant medication for some people or a complementary treatment for others.

4)      Reduces Depression

There is amount of research showing that exercise is very effective in treating mild to moderate depression. As one out of four ADHD adults suffer with depression, this is a great reason to pop on your sneakers.

5)      Helps anxiety

Anxiety is helped by exercise both immediately and in the long term. This is great to know since 50 percent of adults with ADHD also have an anxiety disorder.

6)      Improves learning and Academic results

When a school in Naperville included daily exercise in their students curriculum weight loss problems went down and Academic achievements up.

7)      Aids sleep

Getting regular exercise improves the quality of sleep, helps you fall asleep quickly when you climb into bed and reduces sleepiness during the day.

Check out another article about ADHD and Exercise… http://untappedbrilliance.com/exercise-and-adhd

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Information on ADHD is growing all the time, and since little was known about it 30 years ago it is understandable why many adults didn’t realize they had it until adulthood.

A common way adults discover they have ADHD is that their school-aged child is diagnosed with ADHD. The parent then realizes that the ADHD characteristics that their child is presenting with are also characteristics that they also have . This leads them get an official diagnosis too.

Another group of adults realize that they experience challenges in life and they feel different from everyone else. After doing some research, stumbling across an article or hearing a snippet on the news about ADHD symptoms they will promptly get a diagnosis.

Reactions to discovering you have ADHD vary dramatically, but usually fall into 2 groups. Some adults feel very relieved finally they understand why they are the way they are.Others feel angry that it took them so many years of struggling with life before they realized what it was it. Usually whatever the initial reaction, everyone wants the same thing  which is to learn how they can live their best life.

Some adults have known since childhood that they have ADHD. However what they are now experience are different challenges. Learning skills on how to do well in school, are now replaced with the need to learn how to do well in a work environment, manage a household and take care of finances etc.

While there is often much negative thinking around Adult ADHD, there are also many wonderful gifts too. Once some of the negative aspects are managed ( which can do done with or without medication) then your wonderful gifts can shine through. This blog is a great place to learn about Adult ADHD as well as how to mange it and lead and full, rich and joyful life.

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The official  definition of ADHD is described as a “Disruptive Behavior Disorder” where high levels of inattention, hyperactivity or a combination are constantly present in an individual.  Adult ADHD symptoms are different to that of a  child with ADHD. However please don’t be scared, the official term sounds MUCH worse than reality.

Here are 5 key ADHD symptoms that adults with ADHD experience:

1. Inability to Concentrate.

Lack of concentration has many implications. For example, losing track of conversations can mean important information is missed. Distractedness has implications at work and study. As well as missing information, you can experience resistance to things that need a deep level of concentration. This trait can cause tension in relationships as people can misinterpret it as lack of interest.

2. Lack of organization

Problems in planning tasks, personal organization and time management can result in labels being given such as “lazy” or “lacking in self-discipline” and “disorganized”. Often arriving late, hurried and ill-prepared, over committing and leaving tasks unfinished, the sufferer may feel unorganized and overwhelmed with resulting low self-esteem. ADHD adults find it hard to set up and stay with a routine.

3. Poor memory and Forgetfulness.

Memory and forgetfulness  can result in important possessions, such as passports, wallets and purses, laptops and palm pilots being lost or misplaced. Attending meetings, appointments and lectures punctually can be a real problem; sometimes they can be forgotten altogether.

4. Confusion and trouble thinking clearly

Adults with ADHD find it hard to perform up to their intellectual capability. There are difficulties with intense learning situations such as lectures and in-depth reading. There can be errors in spelling and math. Because of the tendency to become side-tracked, information can go unseen, resulting in mistakes at work. Often it can be difficult to maintain a job.

5. Depression and low self esteem.

Because the world is set up for people without ADHD, life can be challenging, and depression, anxiety and low self-esteem are often features in a person with ADHD.

As you are reading this list of ADHD symptoms please don’t feel depressed. There are many ways to manage your symptoms and lead a rich and wonderful life and this blog has lots of great ways to do this.

Me learning French, is a little like when you start to put into place new habits recommended in ‘Untapped Brilliance’ to help minimize your negative aspects of ADHD. At first it seems like a lot of effort to implement new habits into your life. Then, all of a sudden you realize you are doing it effortlessly and without being conscious of doing them! Ahh… what an amazing feeling.

For someone with ADHD memory can be a big issue. It can result in important possessions, such as passports, wallets and purses, laptops and keys being lost or misplaced. In his book ‘Scattered Minds’ Dr. G. Mate tells an amusing true story but one that encapsulated what it is like living with ADHD memory issues. A gentleman with ADHD has a dog and together they go for daily walks. As the owner puts his coat, shoes, hat, etc. on in preparation for the walk, the dog stays peacefully under the kitchen table. The owner leaves the house and the dog waits under the table. The owner comes back several times for forgotten items, such as keys, wallet etc. then on the third time the dog gets up and joins his owner for the walk. This wise dog had gotten the hang of living with an  Adult ADHD!

This story always makes me smiles. A great solution for helping your memory is creating new small habits. For example, if you are someone who is always leaving bags, umbrellas etc. on public transport, one of your new habits would be to briefly cast your eyes around where you were sitting to make sure you have everything before you leave. It only takes a few seconds, but you will be amazed how quickly it becomes second nature and how much time you save when you don’t have to phone bus companies or taxi firms to see if they have found your missing items.

Another example of a new habit would be to create a check list of everything you need before leaving the house and stick it to your front door. The list will probably include, wallet, cellphone, keys, bag. However you will personalize it suit your lifestyle. Then, get into the habit of checking this list and the items that you have on you before walking through the door. Very soon, you will notice that you are automatically checking to be sure you have everything without even looking at the list.

Have a special place to keep important items, such a passports. When you come home from your travels, pop it in that special place. Perhaps a top drawer, a pretty tin, whatever it is make it your top priority to return it as soon as you return from your trip. This removes an enormous amount of stress from your life as you always know where your important items are at all times.

Your homework this week is to think of 5 areas of your life where you are forgetful and then create small habits around those areas to help you both remember the items AND save time and reduce your stress.

Goal setting is a wonderful tool for adults with ADHD as this keeps you focused on what is important in your life.

Without goals your natural default position is to be fighting fires every day and you lose control of your time. Here are the top ten reasons to set goals when you have ADHD

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Adults with ADHD believe that they like to be spontaneous and creative. That is why habits are hard for them. However, I have found that when day-to-day tasks become habits, adults with ADHD thrive and there is more mental space and time to be creative.

I suggest to my clients that they create habits to take the brainwork out of simple tasks such as popping keys on a hook when they come home so they don’t lose them. Going to the gym on set days so there isn’t a lot of “to-ing and fro-ing” and mental bargaining about if and when they should go.

When there are a few tasks that are linked together toward the same goal, this becomes a routine.

For example, your morning routine might be:

• Wake up at 7.00am
• Bathroom, shower, shave/makeup
• Breakfast
• Vitamins
• Leave for work at 8.00am with wallet, lunch, laptop, agenda, cell phone and keys.

Routines can also become habits. When you do these actions often enough, you go on auto pilot and your life becomes so much easier. Just like when you were learning to drive, you were really mindful of changing gears and using the clutch. You couldn’t think of anything except the task in hand. Driving. Fast forward a year later, you are able to multi-task, singing cheerfully along to the radio, chatting to the passengers or in your own private thoughts. Before you know it, you are home with no memory of the journey. The same is true for habits.

Create habits to include all your important tasks, like getting to work in the morning, going to bed at a reasonable hour at night, food shopping and cooking healthy meals, going to the gym, taking care of your finances and filling your car with gas. Once the foundations of your life are taken care of with habits, you can try new things and be spontaneous without feeling guilty. You can take a try at a new café at lunchtime, see a local band, try a new dish on the menu, check out the local museum, hang out with friends on a week night, etc. These types of experiences keep life fresh, fun and keep you from feeling bored. They also make you feel younger and have more energy. The old saying is “a change is as good as a rest” which is soooo true.

Here are some action steps to implement habits and spontaneity in your life:

1. What day-to-day tasks would you like to create habits around?
2. Concentrate on one at a time to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
3. When you can do your new habit on autopilot, embrace a new one.
4. Be open to new things, new experiences big and small.
5. Enjoy the freedom to be spontaneous and creative in the happy knowledge that your basics are taken care of.

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