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Falling In Love and ADHD

Posted on August 27, 2010 Written by Jacqueline Sinfield Leave a Comment

Falling in love and the first few months of a new relationship is a really exciting time. You feel like you are walking on clouds and have a smile on your face for no particular reason and want to run and help strangers on the street.

This wonderful high is even more pronounced when you have ADHD because there is an increased amount of dopamine released in your brain. Dopamine is the feel good neurotransmitter that is known to be low in ADHD brains. Because of this happy feeling, ADHD adults can be serial daters. They love to be loved. However, when the heady phase has worn off and reality of day to day life with your new love sets in, life is less exciting and problems start to appear.

If you recognize yourself as a serial dater, yet would like a happy long-term relationship, here are 3 tips to make that transition:

1) Keep it real. It’s great that you have a new awesome person in

your life. However, that doesn’t mean that every aspect of your

life is suddenly magically transformed. You still have to go to

work, keep on top of the house work, etc. Sharing your life with a

special person is a wonderful thing, but they aren’t the magical

‘fix all’ to all of your life woes.

2) Have you noticed that the very things that attract us to our

partner are the very things that can drive you apart in the end?

Someone who is open and loving becomes ‘emotionally needy’ and someone who has strengths in organizing becomes a ‘drill sergeant’. Take

stock of the common traits of the last few people you have dated.

If there are recurring patterns, then develop that trait within

yourself. For example, if you constantly find people that are super

organized very hot, develop your own inner organizing side. When you do

this, you won’t be so attracted to the uber-organized person that

was problematic in the past.

3) Create a wonderful life for yourself. If you keep falling in

love over and over again, it could be that your life isn’t full and

exciting and so you look for the external excitement of the love

process to provide that excitement. This then sabotages your

efforts of having a long term relationship. Take a look at your

life see what you can add or take away so that is fun and joyful

every day, with or without a special someone.

You might also enjoy the article The ADD Relationship

Filed Under: Untapped Brilliance Blog Tagged: adhd, challenges, environment, health

Nature and ADHD

Posted on July 17, 2010 Written by Jacqueline Sinfield 3 Comments

Did you know there is a positive link between spending time in nature and ADHD? Researchers at the University of Illinois found that 20 minutes in nature helped reduce unwanted symptoms of Adult ADHD among its participants. While this study was done with children, the researchers state that their findings also extend to ADHD adults and the non-ADHD population.

If you live in the city or a built up area, don’t feel like you are discounted from the advantages. The benefits of being outside in a “green area” were present whether the participants were in a city park or a remote rural setting. This is great news as it means that no matter where you are in the world, you will still be able to implement and enjoy the benefits that being in nature has on your ADHD.

There are all sorts of ways to incorporate green time into your day, from a gentle stroll to something more adventurous. Here is a list of some activities you can do to ensure you are spending time in nature. However, there are many more!

1. A stroll or gentle walk
2. Bike riding
3. In line skating/skateboarding
4. Horseback riding
5. Growing a garden
6. Hiking
7. Canoeing
8. Fishing
9. Running
10. Flying a kite
11. Camping
12. If you have a garden, start doing some of your regular activities there, such as eating meals and reading the newspaper.
13. Yoga or Tai Chi (done outside)
14. Bird watching
15. Walking your dog

Depending on where you live and your lifestyle, some of these activities you will only be able to do at the weekend, while others are more accessible and you can do them every day.

Action Steps to Allow Nature to reduce your symptoms of Adult ADHD

If you aren’t used to being outside in a green setting, slowly integrate it into your life, until it’s part of your daily routine. Remember, it’s important not just that you are outside, but that you are in a green setting.

1. Have at least 20 minutes of green time a day (but there is no maximum.)
2. Try every item on the list once, just for fun.
3. On days that you aren’t able to go outside, notice and compare how you feel and function to those days that you are outside.

Filed Under: ADHD Treatment, Adult ADHD, Untapped Brilliance Blog Tagged: adhd, adhd management, Adult ADHD, environment, health, Untapped Brilliance

Your Body and Self-Esteem

Posted on July 12, 2010 Written by Jacqueline Sinfield 2 Comments

How you take care of yourself and your body is very telling of your self-esteem. If you abuse your body in any way, with food, drink or drugs it could be a sign of low self-esteem. This is where the phrase ‘fake it till you make it’ is perfect. You don’t have to wait until your self-esteem is higher to stop abusing your body. Start to treat it beautifully now and your esteem will rise. Nourish your body with healthy yummy food; give yourself permission to buy the strawberries, even if it isn’t a special occasion. A glass of wine with dinner or a cold beer on a hot day is great, but everything in moderation. It’s easy to wash down the stresses of the day with large quantities of alcohol but it’s not a good way to appreciate your body. If you take drugs to feel ‘normal’ there are lots of others ways to do that than to harm your body in this way.

When you start to take care of and appreciate your body, you will notice lots of many nice rewards. You will have more energy, both mental and physical. You will feel happier on a daily basis, and a sense of peace, because as much as one part has enjoyed the drink, drugs or extra food, the other part of you was feeling guilty and knew it wasn’t a good thing.

A great way to appreciate your body is to find an exercise that you love to do and then do it every day. Not only will you start to feel healthier and notice physical changes in your body when you exercise your body naturally craves healthy foods and water and so it makes moving away from the unhealthy substances much easier.

Start to take care of your body today and notice how much better feel about yourself inside and out.

Filed Under: Untapped Brilliance Blog Tagged: adhd, Adult ADHD, environment, Goals, health, procrastination, sleep

Have Yourself Some Fun

Posted on July 4, 2010 Written by Jacqueline Sinfield Leave a Comment

Taking time to have fun is something that often by passes adults with ADHD. They feel guilty because they ‘should’ being doing something else, like tidying up their messy house, or sitting down to pay the bills.
However, it is really important to make having fun a priority since it recharges your batteries and gives you more energy to get the not so fun stuff done.

One thing I have noticed with adults with ADHD is their idea of ‘fun’ might not be considered mainstream fun, and that is OK! When I ask a client what they find fun they will say, “Oh the usual, going out for dinner, watching a movie” and I can tell they are saying those things because they are the ‘expected’ answers. But their face is lifeless. I probe a little deeper and they say shyly..”Well, it might not be everyone’s idea of fun but..” and then their face lights up as they list everything they REALLY love to do, from political debating to midnight hikes.

Never be shy about what it is you enjoy doing, and always make time to do your fun stuff. Not only is your life more fun and enjoyable when you take the time to do what you love, but with your energy recharged, everything else in your life seems so much better.

Your homework this week is to think of 3 things that are fun for you and then schedule time to actually do them! Then, notice how happy you feel both during the activity and afterwards.

Filed Under: Adult ADHD Tagged: adhd, Adult ADHD, challenges, environment, Untapped Brilliance

Create the Right Environment

Posted on May 8, 2010 Written by Jacqueline Sinfield Leave a Comment

Adults with ADHD really struggle to create a beautiful living environment for themselves. Your physical environment is a reflection of your self-esteem and like other aspects of self-esteem; it’s a ‘chicken and egg’ situation. Your self-esteem is low so you feel you don’t deserve a beautiful living environment. However when you are living in a cluttered, dirty and possibly smelly environment it reinforces your low self-esteem. While this is an area that is particularly hard when you have ADHD, it is still possible to keep things clean and ordered. Plus it’s a vital element to your well being

Keep your home clean and tidy as if guests were coming. Because you deserve to be in a nurturing environment just as much (more in my opinion) as any guests that visit. The English Designer William Morris said “Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful”. Let this be your motto as you begin to create a beautiful physical environment for yourself

Filed Under: Adult ADHD Tagged: Adult ADHD, clutter, declutter, environment, organization

Radio Show 5/3 with Guest Bonnie Hutchinson

Posted on May 5, 2010 Written by Jacqueline Sinfield 1 Comment

I was delighted to welcome a special guest Bonnie Hutchinson to the 2nd Untapped Brilliance Radio show to talk about how to meditate. Meditation is so beneficial when you have ADHD yet it is also very challenging so my mission was for listeners to learn how to meditate and to disperse any of their mental resistance around practicing it. Bonnie was the perfect person to do that since she is not only a meditation expert, and runs a highly successful company, but she also has ADHD. Bonnie has practiced meditation daily after purely by chance she discovered how it quieted her busy mind so that she could let her brilliant ADHD gifts shine through.

Here are 5 top tips from the show:

1) There is no right or wrong way to meditate. Personalize the meditation experience so that it works for you.

2) You haven’t ‘failed’ if your chattery mind keeps on chattering when you meditate

3) If you are resistant to meditating because you think it takes a long time, you can do a ‘power meditation’ for 5 minutes and get great benefits.

4) You can practice meditation no matter what your religious or spiritual beliefs

5) It’s OK to call “meditating” another name!

After the radio show Bonnie said she wished there had been more time to say that the key outcome to meditating is to calm your busy ADHD mind. However, if the word ‘meditating’ is off putting, or daunting to you, you can use another word(s) to describe it. For example: my ‘brain calming exercise’.

To listen to the show, and to practice a guided meditation with Bonnie click here!

emailRadio Show 5/3 with Guest Bonnie Hutchinson

Filed Under: Adult ADHD Tagged: adhd, Adult ADHD, Bonnie Hutchinson, Book Launch, change, creativity, environment, health, meditate, meditating, meditation, sleep, Untapped Brilliance

An Organized Environment

Posted on May 18, 2009 Written by Jacqueline Sinfield Leave a Comment

furnitureAn Organized Environment Having an organized environment helps adults with ADHD feel calm, focused and able to function at their peak. However, having ADHD also means achieving and maintaining an organized environment is really hard. One of the biggest challenges is the accumulation of clutter. In my book, Untapped Brilliance, I have a chapter about achieving a clean, tidy and organized environment and I am always interested to learn more about this subject so I can in turn pass the information on to my clients. It was with fascination that I read organization guru Julie Morgenstern’s book SHED Your Stuff, Change Your Life: A Four-Step Guide to Getting Unstuck.

Julie makes the connection between hoarding your belongings and staying stuck in life. It is really hard to move forward in life when you have the physical and mental reminds of the past. She gives a powerful personal example of how her old belongings were preventing her from moving forward.

Her childhood passion for theatre led her to be a theatre director. Then when her circumstances changed and she was a single mum, she started her own business as a professional organizer. Her business was going well, however she noticed it had reached a plateau. Due to lack of storage, she had six boxes of theatre production books (her old life) housed under her dining room table. By getting rid of those boxes, she witnessed a remarkable growth in her business (her current life).

Because getting rid of things is so hard for people with ADHD, I really liked Julie’s philosophy as it gives a deeper meaning to getting rid of your clutter. She suggests picking a theme for the next chapter of your life. This theme acts as a mental guide to help you get rid of your belongings that reflect your old life’s chapters.

So are you ready to create a beautiful living environment for yourself? One that helps you move forward in the direction of your dreams? Here are the five steps:

Pick a theme for your next life chapter. Are you a singleton, empty nester, freshly graduated or about to embrace a new healthy lifestyle? Identify yours and then use a few positive words to describe your theme.
Write list of every area you want to declutter. You probably know where your clutter is lurking in your house. There might be a little in every room, or you might have one room that is “off limits.” Writing it down gets it clear in your mind and acts as a great reminder of what you have done, once you start putting checkmarks beside areas that you have decluttered.
Grab your kitchen timer and work for fifteen minutes a day on the Decluttering process. If you are inspired to do more than fifteen minutes, go for it, but don’t burn yourself out in one day. Then you won’t be able to face Decluttering again for months.
If you are unsure if you should part with something, remember your theme. Does this item fit in with where you are going in life?
Reward yourself along the way. The benefits of decluttering are huge; however, they aren’t always obvious in the beginning. Give yourself treats and rewards every time you do your Decluttering.