ADHD and PMS

ADHD and PMSPremenstrual Syndrome (PMS) is never pleasant, but when you have ADHD, it can strike louder and harder. During the first half of your cycle, you probably feel ‘normal’, clear headed and productive. Then, as your period gets closer, you begin to feel like Mr. Hyde.

Beside the regular physical symptoms of PMS such as:

Acne

Changes in sleep patterns

Dizziness

Fluid retention

Headaches

Hot flashes

Nausea

Zero energy

Your ADHD symptoms can get much worse, and you can find it difficult to: [Read more…]

How To Eliminate Clutter When You Have ADHD

How To Eliminate Clutter When You Have ADHDADHD and clutter often go hand in hand. Yet clutter in your life, is very damaging. It makes focus and concentration hard, (even if you don’t think it doesn’t effect you it does!). It makes you late because you struggle to find things. It eats your time because belongings need maintenance, even if it’s a dusting once in awhile. A disorganized and cluttered environment keeps you socially isolated because you don’t want to invite people into your space. A disorganized environment makes you feel overwhelmed and anxious and there is a direct link to clutter and depression. These are all compelling reasons to attack your clutter. Yet, it’s very hard to do. It is time consuming and hard on your emotions.

I seem to be on a constant quest to find ways that help adults with ADHD declutter their life…and I have just found a new way! Declutter by numbers.

I don’t know about you, but I love numbers. I find numbers are a great way to monitor progress and success. For example, when writing my book I would religiously record how many words I had written each day. I like to see how many visitors get to my website each day. At Kung Fu, I count the number of push ups I do and when I run I like to know how many minutes I have been running. These sorts of numbers appeal to my competitive side and I try to beat myself the next time.

However, it’s only been in the couple of weeks that it occurred to me to link getting rid of clutter to numbers. Here are 2 great ways to declutter by numbers:

Gail Blanke wrote a book called ‘Throw out fifty things’. The idea is that you walk around your house and throw out or donate fifty things. What I love about this idea is that you have goal 50 things. This turns a seemingly endless task into one where there is a beginning, middle, and end.

She gets you to keep a track by having a scorecard. For example:

3 belts
1 radio
7 books

The idea isn’t actually to throw out 50 belongings rather to throw about 50 categories of belongings.

Gail’s method makes it easy to part with things and she says when you reach 50 a “wonderful momentum takes over; before you know it, the throwing out thing becomes a habit, an ongoing mindset”

The second idea is by Alison. Alison decided to declutter her life one day at a time. Every day she is throwing out one item every day so by the end of year she will be 365 items lighter. This is a great idea because 1 item every day seems very do-able and not overwhelming. Plus, my guess is some days you will want get rid of much more than 1 item. You can learn more about this project at http://clutter365.com/

Whichever declutter by numbers idea you choose good luck and let me know how you get on!

 

Here is another declutting article you will enjoy An Organized Environment

 

ADHD and Anger

 

Anger management is a problem for adults with ADHDBefore writing this article, I looked up the definition of anger in the Oxford English Dictionary and what I found  was:
” the strong feeling caused by extreme displeasure”

However that seems a very delicate way to describe the intense emotions of fury and rage that engulfs an angry person and results in aggression and violence.

My personal experience of very angry people was in a hospital setting during my days as a nurse. Angry people are a little scary because of their unpredictability. You don’t know what they are going to do next, hurt you, themselves (e.g by hitting a wall) or both. In fact even the angry person rarely knows what they are going to do during this time.

Every day life, can evoke extreme anger in people, that is why there is road rage, fights, and damage to personal property.


Anger management is a problem for adults with ADHD for four reasons:

1) The impulsive aspect of ADHD means if you feel angry, you immediately express it. You don’t get the ‘lead time’ that a non ADHD person has even if it’s only a few seconds.

2) Low levels of frustration, mean that you experience frustration rapidly which can then trigger anger.

3) Mood swings,  ADHD adults can experience the whole range of emotions, from happiness, sadness,and anger all in the space of a morning. People with ADHD experience these mood changes more than a non ADHD person.

4) Stress, having ADHD is stressful. If your ADHD is unmanaged, you feel constantly overwhelmed and stressed.

Anger is a normal human emotion, and it can be useful. However, if you are feeling that your expression of anger is holding you back in life, or is becoming problematic for your relationships, here is what to do:

1.Walk away
No matter how hard, walk away from the provoking situation. The more you do this, the easier it will become. You can resolve the issue later. Because you have ADHD, your anger comes and goes quickly. So it won’t be long before you feel calm again.

2.Develop assertiveness skills
People that express anger, worry they will be taken advantage of. However expressing anger is just one way to deal with situations. Since the repercussions of anger are so devastating to personal relationships, assertiveness is a great tool to develop.

3.Reflect
The intense anger you feel, is unlikely to be a result of what is happening in the current situation. It is more likely to be due to an unresolved issue from the past, and the current situation reminds you of the upsetting past experience. You might need help from a professional to assist you to make these connections, but getting to the root cause can be very freeing.

4.Learn to express yourself
Getting angry is how you express ‘extreme displeasure’. However, you can learn to do that in other ways too. You will be pleasantly surprised how much you achieve when you are developing good communications.

5.Exercise
Exercise helps to dispel negative emotions. Exercise every day.
You might consider taking up a Martial art. Not only is it a great exercise, it is a great way to discipline your emotions and channel them in a controlled way.

Remember, experiencing anger doesn’t make you a bad person. After having an angry explosion, you might feel exposed, ashamed and mortified. Don’t dwell on these feelings to make yourself feel bad. Do however use them them as a catalyst for change.

ADHD Characteristics

dont-take-things-personallyWant to listen to this article?  Click here.

Two lovely ADHD characteristics are that you are ’emotionally intelligent’ and ‘sensitive’ people  While being sensitive is not considered ‘cool’ in a culture that values ‘strong and independent’, being sensitive is an incredible gift. It allows you to relate to other people’s emotions and empathize with how they are feeling. This, in turn, allows you to connect within a deeper level that is rewarding and fulfilling.

Whether you wear your heart on your sleeve or have developed a thick outer skin, your sensitivity is a gift and can help you in your personal and professional life.

However, as with all gifts, there is a downside.

Life events that seem quite small to a non-ADHD’er can leave you mulling over that event for days, and the lovely ADHD characteristics seem more than a burden than a gift. People’s reactions to something you said, did or didn’t do stay with you for a long time. It’s hard for you not  to take things personally. Perhaps a  first date that doesn’t want a second, ‘ A friend’ who deletes you from facebook, or the car behind you honks their horn because they don’t agree with how you’re driving.

When things happen like this it’s easy to think “what did I do wrong, was I too…” A brief reflection on a situation is healthy. However, usually it’s nothing to do with you and everything to do with the other person.

Don Miguel Ruiz wrote powerful small book called ‘The Four Agreements’ .Each agreement is a combination of old Tolec wisdom and modern day knowledge. The second agreements is ‘Don’t take Anything personally’ and it’s powerful advice for everyone with ADHD

If someone doesn’t want a second date with you, it’s not because you aren’t a beautiful human being inside and out; perhaps you reminded them of their ex.  If someone deletes you as their Facebook ‘friend’, it could be because they don’t want to see what a fun life you are having, or a zillion other reasons that you couldn’t even begin to imagine.  The man behind you is honking his horn not because you violated a road safety rule but because he is in a rush, or had a fight with his wife and is feeling grumpy. Rather than spending hours thinking of different reason for someone’s behaviour and feel bad about yourself, simply remember Don Miguel Ruiz words: ‘Don’t take Anything personally’ and move on to the next fun item in your day.