While I was at the CHADD conference, I interviewed Patrick McKenna.

Patrick stars in the famous “ADHD and Loving It” documentary. As well as being incredibly funny, he is also very smart! In this interview, he explains that doing what you are naturally good at, helps your self esteem and allows you to be successful in your chosen field.

Another one of Patrick’s secret to success is to embrace and love all of who you are, including your ADD. Don’t worry about wasted time in the past . . . today is the perfect day to step forward and start implementing these suggestions.

I was particularly excited to talk to Patrick as a growing number of my clients realized they had ADD after watching the “ADHD and Loving It” documentary. They had always realized they were different, but didn’t know exactly why until watching the documentary. This is a common experience of people across North America… Patrick and his co-star Rick are changing people’s lives.

Want to see more interviews from the CHADD conference? Head over to: http://budurl.com/w9yj where myself and business partner Marcia Hoeck interview more experts.

Learn more about the FAB work Patrick is doing at Totally ADD!

A common complaint or worry people with ADHD is that they feel ‘behind’ in life. Their peers seem to be racing ahead and they don’t feel they are where they should be as they pass age milestones. The truth is everyone feels they are ‘behind’ in life to some degree, but people with ADHD seem to feel it more keenly. Perhaps because some things do take them longer (e.g. graduating from University because they take fewer classes each semester) or because their self esteem and confidence is lower.

In a world where the media portrayal of what normal is has us all graduating from University at 21 years old, advancing up the corporate ladder in our mid 20′s and happily married with children at 30. It’s good to know to that the world is changing and there is a new type of normal.

Working life
People no longer work Monday to Friday, 9-5 in the same job until they retire at 65 years old. Today we have more career changes than past generations. There is flex time, satellite offices and stay-at-home-dads. You can be a self made multi-millionaire in your early 20′s (for example Facebook’s Mark Zucherberg) and keep working because you love it into your 90′s.

Parenting
Traditionally, parents were of the opposite sex and had children in the ‘peak birth rate years’ of 20- 24. Now there is an increasing number of first time parents in their 40′s and it is no longer taboo to be a single parent. Elton John is the perfect example that you can be a new parent whatever our age or sexuality.

Marriage
The average age for first marriages is getting higher and higher. At the moment, it is 28 years old for men and 26 years for women.

What does this have to do with ADHD? I wanted to illustrate that the old linear way of living isn’t the norm any more. We have more freedom to make choices based on what suits us than ever before. You are never behind; there is no rule that you are a certain age when you should get married, or buy a house, or have a particular position at work.

When you free yourself from these norms you give yourself permission to live your life at a pace that works for you will thrive. When you have ADHD it’s important to do what makes you tick, to listen to your internal messages rather than any external messages. If you do this, you will experience more happiness and success than ever before.

After I have been working with a client for a little while and they have started to experience success, a strange phenomenon occurs. They enjoy the success at first “I can’t believe I am doing this!” They are thrilled, I am thrilled, but then they get scared. They don’t know if they can keep it up. They are in new territory as their whole lives they have been struggling with the basics. Like having an organized home, or arriving on time, or making time for projects that are important to them or exercisingregularly.

After a short time of coaching, they are doing exactly what they have always wanted to be doing. However, because in the past they haven’t been able to maintain these behaviors they get scared and fear this too will be a passing phase and soon they will be back to living in frustration.

This raises a few points;  First, if you really want to make changes in your life then it will happen. It might take a few starts and stops, but when you want something and you try different strategies until one that suits you a positive and permanent change will happen. It can’t not.

Second, your brain and self image of yourself has to catch up with the new you.

If you have always been the person who is late, who constantly arrives 30 minutes behind schedule, coat tails flying, with breathless apologies, there is an identity shift that has to occur. You are now the punctually person who arrives on time, calm, organized and confident.  After your physical behavior has changed, a mental shift has to take place to incorporate the new you. This might be a bit uncomfortable at first. To help this identity shift you can replace your negative chatter ” You are always so late’ ‘Can you ever arrive on time’ with positive and self talk such as ‘I am a punctual time keeper!’ This will help the new behavior become an integrated part of who you are much faster.

Third, it could be an ‘Upper Limit’ problem. In his book, ‘The Big Leap’, Gay Hendricks identifies the concept of the Upper Limit. We all have an inner setting that dictates, how much success we allow ourselves to experience. If we exceed that inner setting (for example, by changing our behaviors)  we get uncomfortable and so sabotage ourselves in order to get back to our comfort zone. Our individual upper limit setting is programmed in childhood, but can be reset. For example, when you are feeling good about your new behaviors, watch out for negative feelings or thinking as this is a sign you are at your Upper Limit and self sabotage could be on its way.

If you are doing well managing your unwanted ADHD behaviors, yet are scared because you don’t know if it will last here, is what to do:

1) Remind yourself this is a normal feeling
2) Remember positive permanent change is always possible, even when you have ADHD
3) Reinforce new behaviors with positive self talk
4) Be aware of the Upper Limit concept and get comfortable being uncomfortable with your new success as soon it will be comfortable!

but I just installed it on my computer last week. I am a late adopter when it comes to technology However now I am a HUGE fan.

Are you a positive energetic Adult with ADHD? Are you ready to make some changes in your life? YES?

Keep reading!

1.Do you want to experience success in one or more areas of your life? Eg work, home, relationships, self esteem.

2. Do you want to have a sense of pride and fulfilment that goes hand in hand with that success?

3.Do you want to finally reach your potential that you know you are capable of?

4. Are you ready to finally knock those ongoing daily problems on the head?
For example, time management, procrastination, clutter, overwhelm.

5. Do you want to experience the freedom that comes along with banishing that from your life?

6 Do you want to have the support of a person who ‘gets it’ and wants you to succeed as much as you do? Who has practical proven strategies that work?

If you answered YES to one or more of those questions, then the package of 10 coaching is perfect for you.

Here is a list of exactly what you get when you Coach with Jacqueline:

•   ADHD coaching with Jacqueline
This means you can talk about everything that is going on in your life, in a safe and confidential environment. Get tailor-made solutions to implement straight away so that you can experience benefits in your life almost instantly.

•    Email support between sessions
Which means you can’t fail! Any hurdle you face, external or internal in between the coaching sessions can be addressed, so that you keep moving forwards.

• Constant support from someone you ‘gets’ you
Which means you feel stronger and more empowered than ever before and ready to take on the world and address all your challenges

Got questions?   The 8 most common questions asked are…

1)    I live in a different country so can’t visit your office
2)    Does skype coaching really work?
3)    I don’t trust myself to follow through and take actions needed to success
4)    I don’t have time
5)    Does it matter if I haven’t been officially diagnosed with ADHD
6)    How often are the coaching sessions
7)    What hours do you work?

And here are the answers:

1)    You can live anywhere in the world , so long as you have a telephone.

2)    Yes, skype coaching is just as effective in person coaching. In fact some people refer it.

3)    Not trusting yourself to follow through and take actions is a common concern when you have ADHD. You can remember many times when set yourself goals and didn’t achieve them.
Coaching is designed for your success. The goals we set are tailored to your life and what is achievable for you. Plus you can email Jacqueline for extra support when you need it. Everything is in place for your success.

4)    There is a time commitment involved. However people report  the time invested in coaching is more than recovered, they can operate more effectively and develop strategies that create more time than ever.

5)    It doesn’t’ matter if you have an official diagnosis of ADHD. Lots of clients don’t when we first start working together (and some never do)  coaching is highly effective

6)    Coaching sessions are usually booked weekly for the first 3 weeks and then bi weekly once you have found your groove. Once we start working together we will know what will be most beneficial for you.

7)    Coaching session are booked from 10am to 7pm eastern standard time

Its easy to get started! simple follow this link and scroll all the way to the bottom of the page

Here are five tips:

Anxiety, fear and worry, go hand in hand. Like anxiety and worry, a small amount of fear can actually be a good thing. It’s pre-programmed in us to keep us safe. When we feel fearful, chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol are released to prepare us for fight or flight and keep us save. What this means in the modern world is that we are able to perform to the best of our ability, perhaps in an interview or exam or performing etc.

However, some ADHD adults become paralyzed by fear and avoid at all cost anything that evokes that feeling. Unfortunately, when you avoid scary things your world becomes small and rather than keeping you safe from big dangers, your body has actually made you become scared of daily life.

In her book ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’ Susan Jeffers say that everyone experiences fearful feelings,but the people who are most successful feel the fear and continue on with the activity that was making them scared.

If you wait until you no longer feel fear about a certain action you will never do it. BUT,if you embrace it and do it anyways you will be rewarded by personal feelings of accomplishment and growth.

Scott James was diagnosed with a form of autism. He Developed a fear of people and spent most of the last 7 years at home. Despite this fear, he performed a singing audition in front of 2,500 people. Afterwards, he didn’t comment on his singing performance (which was amazing), rather the personal barrier he overcome. He said, ‘It’s the best feeling…A huge weight has been lifted, like I have won a battle with my demons”.

Click here to watch the video

This week:

1) Pay attention to anything you aren’t doing because you feel fearful

2)   Do it any way!

3)Give yourself a reward for doing it

4)Notice how liberated and proud of yourself you feel

5) Watch Scott on video and use him as inspiration.

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.  ~Leo Buscaglia

When you worry you repeatedly think of negative thoughts about a situation. Since the thoughts aren’t pleasant they result in anxiety. Like most human traits, a small dose of worrying is helpful. It prompts you to think of a possible situation and plan how to deal with it.  However, too much worrying sucks out the enjoyment of life.

ADHD Adults worry more than the average person, because they are smart and imaginative and use that imagination to conger up all these worse case scenarios. Besides not being enjoyable, worrying makes us stressed and physically ill. Worry is a habit and can be changed.  Here are your ADHD Coachs top 6 tips for combating worry:

1)     Use your imagination to focus on what you DO want rather than what you don’t want. Don’t think of your plane crashing, instead picture it arriving safely and on time, your suitcase on the carousel and your loved ones at the gate to welcome you.  Not only does this take away anxiety it actually makes you feel happy.

2)     Share your worry.  There is something about vocalizing your worries out loud that makes it shrink to normal proportions.  When you are worried there is nothing better than connecting with another person.  Plan B, if there isn’t another human being around, saying your worry aloud is still very helpful. It also has that shrinking effect. That is why worry dolls are so helpful (The picture for today’s article is of worry dolls).

3)     Write down everything you are worrying about on one side of the paper. Then on the other side, write down the action you can do towards each worry. Taking control over your worries and taking action is both empowering and freeing.

4)     Be present.  This can be hard when you have ADHD.  Yet, if you notice you are repeatedly worrying about if you locked the front door decide to get present when you perform this activity.  Notice yourself closing the door, putting your key in the lock, and turning it.  More powerful still is to talk aloud as you are doing it, sort of a running commentary.  Doing and speaking about the action at the same time helps you to remember that your door is definitely locked.

5)   Just focus on today. Don’t let your mind wonder into the future.  Most of our worries are about an event in the future and may actually never happen.  So by living one day at a time most worries can be avoided.

6) Take care for yourself.  I know I say this a lot, but by eating a healthy ADHD diet, exercising and sleeping well, your brain will be less prone to worry.

Statics show that 50 percent of  ADHD adults also have an anxiety disorder,  for example Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Panic Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Social phobia or specific phobias, such as fear of flying or fear of spiders etc.

Not all anxiousness is bad. It can be a sign to get out of danger, that action is needed or it can help you to prepare for a big event.  However, if you experience constant anxiety that feels overpowering and you fear everyday situations it a hindrance, not a help.
When you have ADHD and anxiety it intensifies low self-esteem, increases stress and problems with cognition, such as memory.

My favourite book about anxieties is ‘from panic to power’ by Lucinda Bassett.  Lucinda has a positive outlook on anxiety. For example, she states that if you have increased anxiousness, you will also have above average intelligence, are highly creative, have a great imagination, detail-oriented and analytic. These characteristics give you the potential to achieve wonderful things. Yet, when you are suffering with anxieties you can scare yourself, imagine worse case scenarios, etc. and make yourself sick with anxiousness. Remember, no matter how severe your anxieties are they are treatable.

Anxiety and ADHD is a big topic, and over the next few weeks, I am going to be talking more about it.  However, there are things you can do right now to start helping your anxiety:

1)     Get diagnosed! A diagnosis is always a great starting point, as you then know exactly what you are dealing with.

2)     Exercise every day. I talk about exercising a lot in terms of helping your ADHD. If you have anxiety as well, there is double the reason to get your body moving. Cardio exercise helps disperse your anxieties.

3)     Reduce your caffeine and alcohol intake. Both exacerbate anxious feelings.

4)     Take deep breaths. Breath in through your nose as deeply as possible. Feel your chest expand as your lungs fill with air. Then very slowly breathe out. Do this 10 times and notice how much calmer you feel.

5)     Get a copy of ‘From Panic to Power’ by Lucinda Bassett

6)     Know there is hope. No matter how anxious you are now, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Checklists seem like such a basic tool that the power of them can
be underestimated. However, checklists make life easier and less
stressful, as well as make you much more effective.

It seems a whole different life now, but before I was an ADHD
coach, I was a nurse in a busy city hospital.

Before any patient is escorted from the hospital ward to the
theatre for surgery, a nurse goes down a pre-op checklist. Some
checks seem more important than others. For example, “is this the
right patient” and “are all their notes and x-rays present” seem
vital. Asking an 18-year-old if they have false teeth or a
bald-headed man if he is wearing a wig, less so. But it’s important
to ask all these questions to ensure complete safety for the
patient. And to be doubly safe, the minute the patient arrives in
the theatre, the theatre nurse runs through the very same list.

You might think that since nurses are taking patients to theatre
hundreds or thousands of times in their career, they could dismiss
the list and just remember it. However, nurses are human and
hospital life is busy with important distractions happening all the
time. Why take the chance of something vital going unnoticed? And
why waste brain power and reinvent the wheel every time?

After reading The Checklist Manifesto by AtulGawande, I realized
hospitals aren’t the only places to use checklists. Many other
professionals use them too, including pilots.

How does this relate to you as an ADHD adult ? Why not embrace
the simple checklist and witness first-hand how powerful it can be
so that, like nurses and pilots, you can also function effectively
and reduce stress over the risk of forgetting things.

Your goal for this week is to create an ADHD checklist for one area of
your life. It could be an area where you are constantly forgetting
things. For example, before leaving the house for work, you could
draw up a list of things to remember such as keys, cell phone,
lunch, agenda, etc.

Or it could be in an area where you would like to feel more
organized. Perhaps if you feel scattered at work, you could write a
checklist of your daily tasks, e.g., emails, return calls, work on
current project. Make one list and use it every day. Once you have
started to use it and realize how effective it is, I know you will
want to make and use more of them.

Here are some key points from The Checklist Manifesto to help you
draw up an effective checklist:

1. Have five to nine items. (You don’t need to include things you
do automatically, just the things that get missed.)
2. Have all the items on one page.
3. Keep the list clutter-free.
4. Use upper and lower case text (it’s easier to read).
5. Choose a font that you can read easily.

Happy checking!

Checklists are just one of many strategies to help you operate
smoothly in your life. If you need help to implement these
strategies, I know the perfect person to help you! Send me an email
at Jacqueline@untappedbrilliance.com.

Welcome to the Untapped Brilliance Blog! I am Jacqueline Sinfield the ADHD coach for Adults. On this blog you will find tons of info on ADHD. One the most common sentence I hear from clients is ‘I have so much potential but I just can’t seem to reach it’.  I wrote the ADHD book Untapped Brilliance: How to Reach Your Full Potential as an Adult with ADHD to answer that very question. Untapped Brilliance outlines simple yet highly effective, alternative ways to minimize your unwanted ADHD symptoms so that your wonderful gifts can shine brightly. When that happens, not only are you able to reach your potential, but your life also becomes way less stressful and lots more fun.

The articles here on the blog are all a reflection of my ADHD Coaching philosophy. I am really excited to share with you loads of info on ADHD, and proven strategies that are super effective in minimizing your negative aspects of ADHD so that your magnificent gifts can shine brightly and you too can reach your potential!

Don’t forget to leave questions or comments as I love hearing from you