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Embrace Your Achievements

Posted on December 9, 2011 Written by Leave a Comment

starEmbrace Your AchievementsA friend and I meet regularly at a coffee shop that is a 5 minute walk from where I live. Because it is so close, I always leave it to the last minute to get ready. Then as I am speed walking/running to get there I say to myself ‘I will leave earlier next time’. I always arrive at the coffee shop on time, but a feeling bit hot and my mind is racing.

The interesting thing about this situation is my friend thinks I am very punctual. She often comments on it. Yet, because I have done all that rushing and don’t feel punctual, in this situation, I shrug that compliment away.

This is what adults with ADHD experience all the time. They accomplish wonderful things, degrees, promotion, awards, perform acts of kindness, receive compliments from their nearest and dearest, but because behind the scenes things were a struggle, you shrug those compliments and achievements away.

This results in a huge disconnection between reality and how you see yourself. This disconnect stops you from building up a strong self esteem, from reaching your full potential, allowing yourself to be happy, and even the quality of people you have relationships with.

What can you do to close that gap between your perception of yourself and reality?

1) Being aware of it is always the first step to change. So pay attention to how you feel about yourself and what you do and have done.

2) Write a list of 25 accomplishments
Everyone I give this assignment to always gasps because it sounds a lot, but it encourages you to dig deep and really think about what you have done in your life so far.

3) Create a Hall of Frame
Gather together all your certificates, photos of important events and other items that symbolism your achievements. Get them framed and hang them together on a wall in your home. This is powerful because every time you walk past the wall your achievements, they are there, loud and proud. It might take time for your subconscious to process them, but when it does a new you emerges.

4) Accept all compliments
When someone gives you a compliment, simply say thank you. Don’t explain it away. Afterwards, spend a few minutes processing it. For example, if someone says ‘you have an incredible general knowledge’ your immediate thought might be, well it’s because I sit and watch TV when I have 101 more productive things to do. BUT, rather than do that, begin to own the fact that you are very knowledgeable about a wide range of subjects.

5) Change the way you talk to yourself
You probably have a constant negative voice chatting away to you all day. Telling you mean put downs on how you look, what you said, and what you did.
‘When you catch one of those thoughts, flip it around. ‘I sounded stupid’ to ‘I did a good job’. ‘You look silly in that outfit’ to ‘this is my favorite jacket’. The more you do it, the more your positive voice over rides the negative and the better you will feel about yourself.

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Take Your Own 30 Day Challenge!

Posted on May 8, 2010 Written by 1 Comment

30 day challenge.thumbnailTake Your Own 30 Day Challenge!This is the last blog post for the 30 day blog challenge! YAY I did it!  The challenge was set by Connie Green, an online business coach.  The rules were that each article or blog post was to have 150 words and you needed to post 30 articles 30 days, however you can post more than one article on a given day. The last rule was good for me as I didn’t hear of the challenge till day 7.

The goal to write 30 articles was definitely achievable, but it was also a stretch since I would usually only write 4 articles that time period. As with all goals or challenges you embrace, when they are completed, not only do you feel great about the set goal, there are also additional benefits that you might not have known about at the onset. During the 30 day blog challenge my additional benefits included connecting with new people who were also doing the challenge, making writing a daily habit which in turn meant that any mental resistance I felt towards writing disappeared and I really began to enjoy writing articles in a way I never had before.

Why not set yourself an ADHD 30 day challenge? Whether it’s exercising, taking Omega 3 or decluttering for 15 minutes every day. Whatever it is I guarantee when you have finished you will feel really awesome.

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Your Inner voice, ADHD and you self esteem

Posted on May 8, 2010 Written by Leave a Comment

1178168 abstract shape.thumbnailYour Inner voice, ADHD and you self esteemAdults with ADHD are highly critical of themselves and their achievements. If your inner voice is constantly telling you negative messages, this results in you feeling bad about yourself and your self-esteem is low. Start to pay attention to what your inner voice is saying. What messages are you telling yourself? Are you positive and encouraging or do your berate yourself and talk meanly? Usually how you talk to yourself is so rude that you would never talk like that to any other human being.

We want your inner voice to be your biggest supporter. Be positive, encouraging, reassuring and congratulatory. It’s impossible to catch everything you say to yourself as some thoughts are so fleeting. However when you are aware you have said something negative or mean to yourself, take a moment to counter it with a positive comment. Gradually, you will find yourself speaking more kindly to yourself and this has a wonderful ripple effect of how you feel about yourself and how you operate in the world on a daily basis.

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ADHD Entrepreneurs

Posted on April 24, 2010 Written by 1 Comment

Why are there so many ADHD entrepreneurs? As an ADHD Coach I couldn’t help but notice just how many of my ADHD Coaching clients were also entrepreneurs. In fact many successful  ADHD entrepreneurs are also household names such as:

  • Richard Branson, Founder of Virgin Airlines.
  • Ingvar Kamprad, Swedish Founder and Chairman of IKEA stores.
  • David Neeleman, Founder and CEO of Jet Blue Airways.
  • Paul Orfalea, the Founder and Chairperson of Kinkos

Here are the five reasons I have identified why adults with  are attracted to having their own business

  1. You have a sense of adventure, are risk takers and exceptionally creative, none of which can be fully utilized when you work in a traditional job.
  2. Cubical = Prison. When you have Adult ADHD working in an office 8 hours a day is like a prison sentence. They feel their soul shrivel up when they enter the office in the morning.
  3. Red tape frustration. You can see the answer to a problem, or see how something could be done much better. Yet in a big company it could take months for that change to be implemented. When you are your own boss you can make it happen that very day.
  4. Time. When you are in a groove you work faster than your non ADHD peers. One client told me that he could get his work done in 1 hour, but then he had to sit around and pretend to look busy for the next 7 hours. That is boring and stressful.
  5. Body clock. Most people with ADHD find it really hard to wake up in the mornings. Plus they have a huge creative phase around 10pm. When you work for yourself you can work with your body clock to maximize the productive times.

Ps if you are one of these fabulous ADHD entrepreneurs you might enjoy my Virtual workshop Untapped Brilliance, How to reach your Full Potential as a Entrepreneur with ADHD

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Impossible Achievements

Posted on February 2, 2009 Written by Leave a Comment

Last weekend, I did something that I thought was impossible. I broke a piece of wood into two pieces with my bare hand. I was in total shock afterward, but a good kind of shock. Breaking that wood was such a stretch for me that afterward, my mind started to play tricks on me. I wondered if I did really do it. Luck for me, there was a room full of people watching me and could verify that I did actually do it. AND I have the piece of wood to prove it!

People with ADD are very good at achieving things and not acknowledging them, whether it’s a university degree, a new job, pay raise or a personal accomplishment. Often they believe that they are undeserving, that it happened by luck or that people believe they have more skills and talents than they actually do. They often feel like a fraud and that one day they will get found it.

Of course, you do deserve these things because you worked hard and the skills and talents that are required. It could be because you have struggled behind the scenes to do what others seem to do more easily. It doesn’t matter how you achieved it, the biggest challenge is making it real for yourself.

So what can you do to make it real for yourself? To really acknowledge to yourself what you accomplished:

1. Never belittle your accomplishment by saying, “Oh, well, it’s just a…” (Masters degree, middle management, etc.)
2. Never contort your face or shrug your should while you say your achievement. Instead practice saying it with a straight face and no sighs or shoulder shrugging.
3. Save all your positive feedback in a “Brag Folder.” If friends send you a card to congratulate you, or you get an email from a happy work colleague, etc., print it out and pop it in your “Brag Folder.” Then you can refer to it when you feel low and are questioning yourself.
4. Always celebrate big events. Never just let them slide by without acknowledging them. Have a party with all your friends and family to celebrate your success. (It’s fine to throw yourself one.) For smaller accomplishments, say, “Cheers,” over a glass of wine with a friend.
5. Share all your “wins” with people that care about you.
6. For big achievements, write a list of all the things that you did in order to get there, then when doubt creeps in, remind yourself of what you wrote on your list.
7. Create a wall of fame for yourself. Have all your certificates up on a wall in either your home or place of work.
8. Take photos of you performing or celebrating these achievements and buy pretty or stylish frames and pop them round your house. These act as a constant reminder of your successes.

We want your achievements to really sink into your body and your brain so that you can stand tall and say what you accomplished with a smile on your face and the knowledge that you earned it. If you have any other habits that have worked for you in the past, keep on doing them.

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