Falling In Love and ADHD

Falling in love and the first few months of a new relationship is a really exciting time. You feel like you are walking on clouds and have a smile on your face for no particular reason and want to run and help strangers on the street.
This wonderful high is even more pronounced when you have ADHD because there is an increased amount of dopamine released in your brain. Dopamine is the feel good neurotransmitter that is known to be low in ADHD brains. Because of this happy feeling, ADHD adults can be serial daters. They love to be loved. However, when the heady phase has worn off and reality of day to day life with your new love sets in, life is less exciting and problems start to appear.
If you recognize yourself as a serial dater, yet would like a happy long-term relationship, here are 3 tips to make that transition:

1) Keep it real.

It’s great that you have a new awesome person in your life. However, that doesn’t mean that every aspect of your life is suddenly magically transformed.  You still have to go to work, keep on top of the house work, etc. Sharing your life with a special person is a wonderful thing, but they aren’t the magical ‘fix all’ to all of your life woes.

2) Opposites Attract

Have you noticed that the very things that attract us to our partner are the very things that can drive you apart in the end? Someone who is open and loving becomes ’emotionally needy’ and someone who has strengths in organizing becomes a ‘drill sergeant’. Take stock of the common traits of the last few people you have dated. If there are recurring patterns, then develop that trait within yourself. For example, if you constantly find people that are super organized very hot, develop your own inner organizing side. When you do this, you won’t be so attracted to the uber-organized person that was problematic in the past.

3) Create a Wonderful Life for Yourself.

If you keep falling in love over and over again, it could be that your life isn’t full and exciting and so you look for the external excitement of the love process to provide that excitement. This then sabotages your efforts of having a long term relationship. Take a look at your life see what you can add or take away so that is fun and joyful every day, with or without a special someone.

 Do you love to be in love?

 

 

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Comments

  1. Joie Cawsey says:

    Thank you! This page speaks volumes to me! I am still undiagnosed but reading this I was like oh my goodness!!! I have been in and out of dating for a long time and i sadly kept flitting from one job to another continuously, i have about 40 jobs in 13 years. The more i read on adhd the more certain i am i have it, and wondering why i was not seen at school with it but i am female…

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