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How To Do The Activities You Don’t Like Doing

Posted on January 13, 2012 Written by 1 Comment

Recently, I heard that Jillian Michaels, former trainer for the TV show “Biggest Loser”… doesn’t like to exercise. That really surprised me; I thought TV’s toughest trainer would love exercising.

However, she likes the benefits of exercise, rather than actual exercise. This example, beautifully illustrates that sometimes we have to do actions that aren’t enjoyable, but they are essential to our well-being.

carousel horsesHow To Do The Activities You Dont Like DoingPsychologist, Dr. Ari Tuckman, identifies the difference between Product and Process activities. Process activities are actions that are done for pleasure, for example, spending time with people you love, listening to your favorite album or watching a movie. Product activities are the day to day actions that need to get done in order to function and live. Things like paying a bill on time, taking the trash out and cleaning the kitchen after supper.

Neither one is superior, both are essential to live a happy, healthy life. If your life is full of product activities you become emotional drained. If life is full of Process activities, then there are negative consequences, unpaid bills and dirty living environment etc. So balance is key.

Everyone has a different idea of if an action is a product or process activity. For example, someone who loves to cook thinks cooking an evening meal is a process activity. Yet for someone else cooking is definitely a product activity.

When you have ADHD product activities are more problematic carry out than process activities.

This is because ADHD is less issue of attention and more a motivational problem. Adults with ADHD find it hard to change from an activity they are enjoying to a different one. It is also hard for them to stay motivated and to follow through on uninteresting tasks.

What can you do to ensure you have a balance of Product and Process tasks in your life:

1) Acknowledge not all actions are fun, but they still need to be done. It sounds obvious, but it is a freeing idea. When you are next cleaning your bathroom with a sinking heart, remind yourself, this isn’t meant to be fun, but having a clean bathroom is a good thing.

2) Make product activities as enjoyable as possible. Use your timer; put music on while you are doing these activities.

3) Create habits around Product Activities so they get done as painlessly as possible.

4) Include Process activities in your life, at least one a day. Adults with ADHD tend to forget or feel they don’t deserve fun things in their life. However, when Process activities are in your life,
they give you energy so that the product activities become less hard.

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ADHD and Money

Posted on January 6, 2012 Written by Leave a Comment

Money management is very difficult for ADHD adults and this results in some rather depressing statics. For example, people with ADHD have more:

  • Bankruptcies
  • Foreclosures
  • Credit card debit
  • Periods of unemployment

goldADHD and Moneyand do more:

  • Impulsive spending
  • Arguing with spouse about money

more so, than the average person.

They are also less likely to:

  • Have savings
  • Have a retirement plan

than there non ADHD peers. People with ADD also have lots of negative emotions connected to money. They feel guilty, ashamed, and embarrassed that they don’t earn as much as they would like, that they have debt, or overspend.

However, there are physical reasons why money management is hard for ADDer’s. The executive functioning of the brain is impaired when you have ADHD. Which means, detailed orientated work, emotional regulation, impulse control, organizing and time management are also impaired and don’t function like they do in non ADDers.  If we look how these executive functions effect money management, it’s clear why problems occur. For example, money management is detailed orientated, completing taxes requires organizing, and low impulse control results in over spending.

No matter what your financial situation is, don’t feel bad about it. Negative emotions, such as guilt and shame only make you feel worse. Change is possible and the best way to turn negative emotions around is to empower yourself with knowledge. The following steps will help you to that. Here are 5 tips to help you take control of you money right now, no matter what your age:

1) Take stock
Take an honest look at your financial situation right now.
It’s better to know exactly what you are dealing with rather than have general anxiety about the unknown. Dig out your bank statements, savings, credit card bills, pension statements, etc so you know exactly what your money situation is.

2) Work with Financial professionals
They are there to help you. An accountant and financial adviser are essentials, but you might benefit from a book keeper or other professionals depending on your lifestyle. Choose them carefully. Not only do they need to be good that their job, they also need to have kind, non-judgmental personalities.

3a) Online banking
Sign up for online banking. This allows you to check your balance very easily. I recommend once a day. When you monitor your account regularly you are in touch with your money and spend less without even trying.

3b)Pay your bills online.
ADDers find this is much easier than the multi-step task of opening mail, writing a cheque, finding a stamp and remembering to post the envelop in a timely fashion.

4) Create a budget
The word budget usually fills people with dread. However, rather than a bad constraining thing, a budget allows you to spend money on the things without feeling guilty; pay bills and save for the future.

The best budget tool for ADHDers”You Need a Budget” or YNAB. This is a budget tool with a difference. It will actually get you excited about budgeting. You feel empowered and it’s fun to use. Check it out. http://budurl.com/yg7z

5) Change your views about money
Money is an emotion loaded topic. Some people love it, others hate it, yet it’s merely a tool we use to exchange goods and services with. We could use cows or bread, but money is more convenient. When you take emotion out of the topic of money it is much easier to address.

Got questions? Send me an email and I will be happy to answer them!.

 

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ADHD Goals for the New Year

Posted on December 28, 2011 Written by Leave a Comment

 

When we think of the New Year we automatically think about New Year Resolutions. However resolutions are usually a highly ineffective way to achieve what we would like in our life.

For example, if your new years resolution is to lose weight, or get fit, you will likely to do really well for the first few days or even a few weeks, eating an extreme diet or going to the gym every day. But then the resolution way of life becomes hard and boring and its more comfortable to revert back to old ways.  New Years Resolutions are based on pure will power, and without a compelling goal, or big enough why,  Resolutions will not be sustainable.

2012ADHD Goals for the New YearHowever the New Year IS a great time to set goals. I have just read an inspiring book called ‘Taming Tigers, Do things you never thought you could do’ . The author Jim Lawless tells of how he achieved his goal of riding his first televised horse-race in the space of one year.  Before he set this goal for himself he had only been pony trekking twice!  In order to achieve this ambitious goal he had to get up every day at 5am to train, continue his day job, lose 1/4 of his body weight (jockeys are very light), move houses to be near the training ground, and give up alcohol (which can’t have been easy for someone that hadn’t gone to bed sober for 17 years).

It would have be extremely hard to do these things if Jim hadn’t had a compelling goal. This year when you are thinking about what you would like to achieve think BIG. What would you move heaven and earth to achieve?

Start with your big goal and then work backwards. You are much more likely to stick to a diet, declutter your house, get fit, etc. when the big goal excites you.

The sense of exhilaration that Jim felt when he completed the race was ‘ Absolute Elation’. Not only did he achieve his goal but he now has the knowledge that he can do anything that he sets his mind and this will stay with him forever.

When inspired ADHD adults can achieve incredible feats in a very short space of time, so can you. So your first action for 2010 is to create a compelling and exciting goal. Don’t worry about how you will achieve your goal, your only job today is to think WHAT you would like to achieve!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

 

Other articles you will enjoy

How to Realize Your Goals

10 Reasons To Set Goals When You Have ADHD

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ADHD and Motivation

Posted on December 16, 2011 Written by 1 Comment

Dr. Russell Barkley says that ADHD is more about loss of interest and motivation than attention and concentration. This makes sense, as we know ADHDers can pay attention for hours  on tasks they love.

Motivation is a characteristic that makes us want to ‘do’ an activity. Unfortunately, there is lotsof moral judgement about motivation and people think lack of motivation is a sign of laziness or not caring. The good news is that in recent years studies have found evidence that motivation is more about brain chemistry, than will power. It has been found that motivation problems in people with ADHD are due to lower levels of dopamine in their brains. The larger the disruption of the dopamine pathway, the greater the ADHD symptoms and the lower the  levels of motivation.

Now that you are armed with this knowledge what can you do?

happenADHD and Motivation1) Take good care of yourself the Untapped Brilliance way. This means, taking Omega 3 supplements, eating an ADHD friendly diet, getting enough sleep, exercising and meditating. All these activities increase the dopamine. If you need help incorporating these into your life check out Untapped Brilliance book.

2) What do you love to do? What are you highly motivated to do? When you know what those activities they are, make some changes in your life so you spend more time doing the activities you are motivated to do. Your life will become more productive and enjoyable.

3) Get creative with the activities you have to do, but don’t enjoy. Use your timer, as that creates a challenge and a sense of urgency. Set up a reward system that motivates you. For example, put one dollar in a jar every time you do X. Apply it to something that does interest you. Michael Phelps’ (Olympic Swimming Champion) Mom did this for her son. Michael hated math, but loved swimming. So she customized his math problems ‘If you swim one meter per second, how long would it take to swim 800 meters?’

When you make these changes in your life, you will definitely notice a new level of productivity and purpose in your life.

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Embrace Your Achievements

Posted on December 9, 2011 Written by Leave a Comment

starEmbrace Your AchievementsA friend and I meet regularly at a coffee shop that is a 5 minute walk from where I live. Because it is so close, I always leave it to the last minute to get ready. Then as I am speed walking/running to get there I say to myself ‘I will leave earlier next time’. I always arrive at the coffee shop on time, but a feeling bit hot and my mind is racing.

The interesting thing about this situation is my friend thinks I am very punctual. She often comments on it. Yet, because I have done all that rushing and don’t feel punctual, in this situation, I shrug that compliment away.

This is what adults with ADHD experience all the time. They accomplish wonderful things, degrees, promotion, awards, perform acts of kindness, receive compliments from their nearest and dearest, but because behind the scenes things were a struggle, you shrug those compliments and achievements away.

This results in a huge disconnection between reality and how you see yourself. This disconnect stops you from building up a strong self esteem, from reaching your full potential, allowing yourself to be happy, and even the quality of people you have relationships with.

What can you do to close that gap between your perception of yourself and reality?

1) Being aware of it is always the first step to change. So pay attention to how you feel about yourself and what you do and have done.

2) Write a list of 25 accomplishments
Everyone I give this assignment to always gasps because it sounds a lot, but it encourages you to dig deep and really think about what you have done in your life so far.

3) Create a Hall of Frame
Gather together all your certificates, photos of important events and other items that symbolism your achievements. Get them framed and hang them together on a wall in your home. This is powerful because every time you walk past the wall your achievements, they are there, loud and proud. It might take time for your subconscious to process them, but when it does a new you emerges.

4) Accept all compliments
When someone gives you a compliment, simply say thank you. Don’t explain it away. Afterwards, spend a few minutes processing it. For example, if someone says ‘you have an incredible general knowledge’ your immediate thought might be, well it’s because I sit and watch TV when I have 101 more productive things to do. BUT, rather than do that, begin to own the fact that you are very knowledgeable about a wide range of subjects.

5) Change the way you talk to yourself
You probably have a constant negative voice chatting away to you all day. Telling you mean put downs on how you look, what you said, and what you did.
‘When you catch one of those thoughts, flip it around. ‘I sounded stupid’ to ‘I did a good job’. ‘You look silly in that outfit’ to ‘this is my favorite jacket’. The more you do it, the more your positive voice over rides the negative and the better you will feel about yourself.

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Interview with ADD and Loving it Star

Posted on December 2, 2011 Written by Leave a Comment

While I was at the CHADD conference, I interviewed Patrick McKenna.

Patrick stars in the famous “ADHD and Loving It” documentary. As well as being incredibly funny, he is also very smart! In this interview, he explains that doing what you are naturally good at, helps your self esteem and allows you to be successful in your chosen field.

Another one of Patrick’s secret to success is to embrace and love all of who you are, including your ADD. Don’t worry about wasted time in the past . . . today is the perfect day to step forward and start implementing these suggestions.

I was particularly excited to talk to Patrick as a growing number of my clients realized they had ADD after watching the “ADHD and Loving It” documentary. They had always realized they were different, but didn’t know exactly why until watching the documentary. This is a common experience of people across North America… Patrick and his co-star Rick are changing people’s lives.

Want to see more interviews from the CHADD conference? Head over to: http://budurl.com/w9yj where myself and business partner Marcia Hoeck interview more experts.

Learn more about the FAB work Patrick is doing at Totally ADD!

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Hey!! ADHD Business Owner: Do You Want a Constant Stream of Clients?

Posted on November 6, 2011 Written by Leave a Comment

Quick question!

Do you:

a) Want to be famous in your industry?

b) You don’t care about Fame; you just want to help as many people as possible?

c) Neither, just want to generate enough income pay my bills.

 

Whether you answered a, b or c…I have the perfect solution!

There is an amazing program being launched called ’Creating Fame‘ by Laura Roeder.

In this fun and fast paced program you will learn what actions you need to do to become the 1st person people think of in your industry. Which means never have to worry about getting new clients ever again. And not only do you have steady stream of clients who love working with you and rave about your products. You get to do what you love to do and pay your bills.

As an Entrepreneur with ADHD you are almost certainly brilliant at what you do. Yet your self esteem and confidence in your abilities is low and doesn’t match your talent. You often feel like a fraud and scared people will find ‘out’. This keeps you in hiding and stops you from taking the actions that will lead to success.

I believe one of the most useful aspects of Creating Frame is how the mindset is addressed. Very simply and quickly, Laura is able to change how you feel about yourself and your talents which allows you to mentally step up and embrace who you really are. When you do this, success is a given.

But this is just one area Laura covers…there are lots more!

I very rarely promote products simply because there aren’t many I feel passionate about. However, this program rocks! I took it in 2010 and I am excited to take it again this year.

Check it out here!

Wait though! Before you head to Laura’s site, if you sign up using this link, email me your receipt and I will give you some extra special bonuses.

Bonus 1

2 hours of 1 on 1 ADHD coaching with me!
Coaching with me usually costs $160 per hour, (but the benefits are priceless)!

We can schedule the appointments right away, or you can keep them in your back pocket until you really need them.

Bonus 2

Untapped Brilliance for Entrepreneurs, How to Reach your Full Potential as Entrepreneur with ADHD: Workshop in a Box (Value $197)

In this 4 hour workshop, you will learn exactly how to tame your ADHD traits that get in the way of a successful business.

Bonus 3

Your every own down-loadable copy of Untapped Brilliance (Value $17)

In this critically acclaimed book you will learn exactly how to manage the negative aspects of ADHD (Lack of focus and concentration, procrastination, time management, clutter etc), so you can reach your potential in all areas of your life.

So go check out Laura’s site and send me your receipt and we can get started!!!

See you in class icon smileHey!! ADHD Business Owner: Do You Want a Constant Stream of Clients?


 

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Do You Feel ‘Behind’ In Life?

Posted on November 4, 2011 Written by Leave a Comment

pathDo You Feel Behind In Life?A common complaint or worry people with ADHD is that they feel ‘behind’ in life. Their peers seem to be racing ahead and they don’t feel they are where they should be as they pass age milestones. The truth is everyone feels they are ‘behind’ in life to some degree, but people with ADHD seem to feel it more keenly. Perhaps because some things do take them longer (e.g. graduating from University because they take fewer classes each semester) or because their self esteem and confidence is lower.

In a world where the media portrayal of what normal is has us all graduating from University at 21 years old, advancing up the corporate ladder in our mid 20′s and happily married with children at 30. It’s good to know to that the world is changing and there is a new type of normal.

Working life
People no longer work Monday to Friday, 9-5 in the same job until they retire at 65 years old. Today we have more career changes than past generations. There is flex time, satellite offices and stay-at-home-dads. You can be a self made multi-millionaire in your early 20′s (for example Facebook’s Mark Zucherberg) and keep working because you love it into your 90′s.

Parenting
Traditionally, parents were of the opposite sex and had children in the ‘peak birth rate years’ of 20- 24. Now there is an increasing number of first time parents in their 40′s and it is no longer taboo to be a single parent. Elton John is the perfect example that you can be a new parent whatever our age or sexuality.

Marriage
The average age for first marriages is getting higher and higher. At the moment, it is 28 years old for men and 26 years for women.

What does this have to do with ADHD? I wanted to illustrate that the old linear way of living isn’t the norm any more. We have more freedom to make choices based on what suits us than ever before. You are never behind; there is no rule that you are a certain age when you should get married, or buy a house, or have a particular position at work.

When you free yourself from these norms you give yourself permission to live your life at a pace that works for you will thrive. When you have ADHD it’s important to do what makes you tick, to listen to your internal messages rather than any external messages. If you do this, you will experience more happiness and success than ever before.

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Scared Your Good ADHD Habits Won’t Last?

Posted on October 28, 2011 Written by 4 Comments

 

After I have been working with a client for a little while and they have started to experience success, a strange phenomenon occurs. They enjoy the success at first “I can’t believe I am doing this!” They are thrilled, I am thrilled, but then they get scared. They don’t know if they can keep it up. They are in new territory as their whole lives they have been struggling with the basics. Like having an organized home, or arriving on time, or making time for projects that are important to them or exercisingregularly.

After a short time of coaching, they are doing exactly what they have always wanted to be doing. However, because in the past they haven’t been able to maintain these behaviors they get scared and fear this too will be a passing phase and soon they will be back to living in frustration.

This raises a few points;  First, if you really want to make changes in your life then it will happen. It might take a few starts and stops, but when you want something and you try different strategies until one that suits you a positive and permanent change will happen. It can’t not.

Second, your brain and self image of yourself has to catch up with the new you.

If you have always been the person who is late, who constantly arrives 30 minutes behind schedule, coat tails flying, with breathless apologies, there is an identity shift that has to occur. You are now the punctually person who arrives on time, calm, organized and confident.  After your physical behavior has changed, a mental shift has to take place to incorporate the new you. This might be a bit uncomfortable at first. To help this identity shift you can replace your negative chatter ” You are always so late’ ‘Can you ever arrive on time’ with positive and self talk such as ‘I am a punctual time keeper!’ This will help the new behavior become an integrated part of who you are much faster.

Third, it could be an ‘Upper Limit’ problem. In his book, ‘The Big Leap’, Gay Hendricks identifies the concept of the Upper Limit. We all have an inner setting that dictates, how much success we allow ourselves to experience. If we exceed that inner setting (for example, by changing our behaviors)  we get uncomfortable and so sabotage ourselves in order to get back to our comfort zone. Our individual upper limit setting is programmed in childhood, but can be reset. For example, when you are feeling good about your new behaviors, watch out for negative feelings or thinking as this is a sign you are at your Upper Limit and self sabotage could be on its way.

If you are doing well managing your unwanted ADHD behaviors, yet are scared because you don’t know if it will last here, is what to do:

1) Remind yourself this is a normal feeling
2) Remember positive permanent change is always possible, even when you have ADHD
3) Reinforce new behaviors with positive self talk
4) Be aware of the Upper Limit concept and get comfortable being uncomfortable with your new success as soon it will be comfortable!

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How do I maintain focus in a high stress work environment?

Posted on October 20, 2011 Written by Leave a Comment

keyboardHow do I maintain focus in a high stress work environment?First it’s important to take care of yourself with the first 5 steps of Untapped Brilliance.
This means, taking Omega 3 supplements, exercise regularly, eat a healthy ADHD diet, daily meditation and get enough sleep.

People find this a boring answer, as it is information they have heard before and they were hoping for something new and sexy. However, the reason you have heard about these things before is because they work!

These actions provide you with strong and solid foundations. A building with strong foundations can survive adverse weather conditions. In contrast, a building whose foundation is weak or non-existent will crumble with a slightest puff of wind. When you take care of yourself with those 5 steps you will find you are able to focus, concentrate and emotionally able to handle your high stress work environment.

There are other things you can do too when you are actually at work:

1) Take breaks. If you are busy and stressed you think that working through your breaks will help. It doesn’t. Breaks help you to be   focused and on top of your game when you return.

2) Be in the moment. I know this sounds hard, but when you are mindful and focus on the task you are doing at that given moment, you will feel grounded and centered. You will get a  sense of job satisfaction and if at a later point you question if you did it or to a good standard, you will know you did.

3) Positive Affirmation. Have a positive affirmation that you repeat to yourself in times of stress. It doesn’t matter what that is, so long as it makes you feel good. A few examples would be…’I am doing really well’ ‘I work well in a busy environment’ ‘I am focused and grounded’

When you talk to yourself calming, kindly and positively you will notice a big difference on your physical performance.

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