Does Everyone Have ADHD These Days?

balloons-1012541_640Have you noticed that everyone seems to have ADHD these days?

People say things like:
“Oh, I am so ADHD.”
“I am having an ADHD moment.”
“Sorry I am late… I must have ADHD.”

Of course, not everyone has ADHD! Stats show that between 4-5% of adults in the US have ADHD. Which means 95-96% of the population does not have ADHD.

When someone says, “I must have ADHD”, what they actually mean is that for a minute or 2 or maybe even a few hours, they were forgetful or distracted, etc.

The reason why so many people feel they have ADHD is that ADHD characters aren’t exclusive to people with ADHD. Everyone experiences memory slips, feel distracted and lose track of time, etc. from time to time. But, just because someone is forgetful, it doesn’t mean they have ADHD. In the same way that when someone feels sad for an hour, it doesn’t mean they have depression.

It’s the amount of these characteristics that a person experiences, their severity and how long they have been experiencing them (before the age of 7) that separates someone who has ADHD from someone who doesn’t. To see a detailed list of ADHD Inattentive Subtype characteristics, go here and for a list of ADHD Hyperactive Impulsive Type, head here.

It is good awareness about ADHD that has increased. It means that people who have ADHD are getting tested and getting the help they need. Conversely, with that increase has brought these casual comments.

When someone explains their behaviour as an ‘ADHD moment’, it’s usually met with laughter. However, when you are living with ADHD, it’s not a joke. Life can be stressful and it takes hard work to master techniques that come effortlessly to others.

These comments are particular confusing to those who are recently diagnosed with ADHD. They are still trying to make sense of what ADHD is and how it fits into their identity. Who wants to have something that everyone laughs at?

People who actually have ADHD rarely (if ever) say, “Oh, I am so ADHD”. Instead, they feel mortified that they let someone down, or are late or forgot something important. They also think very carefully about who to tell they have ADHD. They don’t drop it casually into conversation.

People often are concerned about getting officially diagnosed, because they think if they get officially diagnosed with ADHD, they will use it as an excuse. If you are concerned about that, don’t be! The fact that you are asking that question means that you are conscientious and won’t use ADHD as an excuse.

Nevertheless, because people who don’t have ADHD use it as an excuse, a common fear among parents and spouses, is that if their loved one gets diagnosed, they will stop trying. This, of course, creates more problems.

The next time someone says that “they are so ADHD”, don’t take it personally; don’t question if you have ADHD, and don’t let it side track your quest to tap into your brilliance!

12 Ways to Combat Shyness When You Have ADHD

12 Ways to Combat Shyness When You Have ADHDAdults with ADHD can struggle with shyness. While shyness goes against the stereotypical image of a hyperactive, life-of-the-party type, ADHD is much more diverse than that image.

Shyness has nothing to do with being an extrovert or introvert, or if you are hyperactive or an inattentive subtype. It has everything to do with how comfortable a person feels about themselves.

Many adults with ADHD don’t feel comfortable with themselves at all. They feel shame that they aren’t where they thought they would be at this point in their lives. They are worried about potentially embarrassing themselves by saying or doing something impulsively or by breaking a social rule that they didn’t know about.

There is often a lot of fear, perhaps stemming from memories of past social behaviour, or by being around critical people. Plus, small talk is agony for most ADHDers.

What is Shyness?

Shyness is a feeling of angst, awkwardness and unease in situations when you are near to people. It is usually heightened in new situations and new people. Blushing, ‘losing your tongue’ anxiety and stammering, are all part of feeling shy.

Feeling shy can stop you from doing things. Because being in situations where you feel shy is so unpleasant and uncomfortable, you would rather not do them. However, that can lead to feelings of loneliness, and frustration at unmet potential. The good news is that shyness doesn’t have to be permanent. You might always have shyness tendencies, but there is a lot you can do to help yourself feel more confident and comfortable in social situations.

While this article focuses on ways to step out of your shy shadow, there is no shame in being shy. Unfortunately, we do live a culture that values being social and so, people who are shy don’t feel as valued. Shyness can also be misinterpreted as ‘standoffish’ or ‘stuck up’; which of course isn’t true!

A surprising amount of famous people have been or are shy. It’s good to know that being shy doesn’t mean you can’t excel in your field. This website has a very comprehensive list of famous shy people.

http://www.shakeyourshyness.com/shypeople.htm

Introverts are Shy Too!

Shyness isn’t related to being introverted. Both introverts and extroverts can be shy. While shy people and introverts might both avoid social gatherings, the reasons behind that choice are made for different reasons. Introverts rejuvenate their energy by being alone. Shy people are avoiding a potentially painful experience.

Researchers are still learning more about shyness. Nevertheless, what they have found so far is that it might have genetic roots, and be influenced by both the environment the child was raised, and by their individual experiences.

The 3 Elements of Shyness

Dr. Bernardo J. Carducci, author of ‘Shyness: A Bold New Approach’, says shyness has 3 elements:

· Excessive Self-Consciousness
You are intensely aware of yourself especially in social environments

· Excessive Negative Self-Evaluation
You are highly critical of yourself

· Excessive Negative Self-Preoccupation
You notice everything you are doing ‘wrong’ when you are with others.

Adults with ADHD are experts at the Excessive Negative Self-Evaluation; so much so that it can be debilitating.

Ready to combat your shyness? Here are 12 steps:

1. Identify Areas in Your Life Shyness is Causing You a Problem
You probably aren’t shy in every area. E.g. When you are with close family members.
Whichever areas where your quality of life would improve if you weren’t as shy. What are those?
Presentations at work, dating, meeting new people etc….

2. Stop Labeling Yourself as Shy
Growing up, well-meaning adults might have said things such as, ‘Don’t worry about John, he is just shy’. While letting people know that you are shy and not being rude is helpful on one level, if you have a label in your mind, then you do your best to fit that label. From now on, stop thinking of yourself as shy!

3. Start treating your ADHD
Everything becomes easier when your ADHD is being treated!

4. Join Toastmasters
Toastmasters gives you the practical tools to overcome shyness. If you know that you can talk in front of a room full of people, then you also know that you can talk in any other situation including on the phone or to an authority figure. You also learn how to ‘think on your feet’, so the right words will come to you when you are put on the spot, not 15 minutes later. It also helps address underlying issues, like confidence and self-esteem.

5. Improve Your Self-Esteem
Improving your self-esteem is very helpful in reducing shyness. Self-esteem is a big topic.
Still, here are a couple of things to do to help get your started.

a. Brain-storm all the things that are annoying you at the moment. Then, look at which ones you could take action on. Someone I know improved their self-esteem dramatically when they lost some excess weight that had been bothering them.

b. What are you naturally good at? Often, when you have ADHD, you spend so much time trying to ‘fix’ yourself that you don’t make time for your natural talents. For example, if you are a great piano player or artist or dancer, make sure you are doing those things on a daily or weekly bases.

6. Stop Being Highly Critical of Yourself
As you are breaking out of your shy comfort zone, it will be very helpful if you can talk to yourself with compassion; not criticism. It doesn’t matter if you dropped food down your top because you were nervous, or you forgot someone’s name. Instead, focus on the fact that you made an effort to go out. Richard Branson is very good at talking to himself kindly and with compassion. When you talk to yourself like this, it also helps improve your self-esteem.

7. Remember no one is looking
Shy people are intensely aware of themselves in social environments. It feels as if everyone is looking at your every move. They aren’t. They are busy thinking about how they appear to others! Or they might be listening to what the person they are talking to is saying, or thinking about what they will have for supper this evening. We will never know for sure. However, even though you are a super lovely person, all eyes won’t be on you. So relax.

8. Interesting Things to Say
A lot of people feel they don’t have anything interesting to say. Even if you feel this, it isn’t true. You have ADHD, which means you are always devouring new information. You have lots of interesting things to talk about!

9. Social Skills
Growing up, we aren’t given any formal social skills training. We are somehow expected to know it; which can be problematic when you have ADHD. There are a lot of ways to develop these skills, including working with a coach. Also, a great starting point is to read or listen to ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’. It’s a classic and has some great tips. For example, do you know how a person will think you are a great conversationalist? It’s not by you doing a lot of talking. Instead, all you have to do is ask a few questions and let the other person talk, which is perfect for a shy person!

10. Hobbies
Joining groups focused on your hobbies is a great way to overcome your shyness. It helps you be with people; yet the focus isn’t on talking, it’s on the activity. Plus, you automatically have at least one thing in common, so conversations are easier. For example, if you like to run, join a running group; or a photography, quilting, scrapbooking or cooking group. There are so many! Meetup.com is a great way to find groups in your area.

11. Book Recommendation
If you like to read, check this book by Dr. Bernardo J. Carducci. ‘Shyness: A Bold New Approach’. It’s very helpful, informative and is based on decades of research on shyness.

12. Keep Track
Open a Google doc or Word document and keep track of your progress. Every time you go out of your comfort zone, record what happens. Did anything bad happen? What were the good things that happened? When you get hard evidence in writing, rather than memories that you have exaggerated (for the worse), it is much easier to see your progress and realize that bad things rarely happen and if they do, they aren’t that bad.

How to Create Healthy Boundaries When You Have ADHD

How to Create Healthy Boundaries When You Have ADHDAdults with ADHD often struggle with boundaries; either with enforcing their boundaries or respecting other peoples’ boundaries or both. Boundaries are rules you set for yourself, based on your values and priorities.

Some boundaries are automatically in place without you having to be consciously aware of them. For example, if a stranger stands too close to you, you instinctively step away in order to create a physical space that you are comfortable with.

However, not all boundaries are that easy. Sometimes you don’t know what your boundaries are, so you can’t enforce them. Other times, you know a boundary has been crossed, but you need to develop your assertiveness or confidence muscle to be able to enforce it.

Even if it feels uncomfortable at first, it’s worth strengthening your boundaries because healthy boundaries are vital for you to feel happy, be physically healthy, and have good relationships with everyone in your life.

Here is a list of areas where it’s important to have healthy boundaries:

  • Physical space
  • Mental
  • Emotional
  • Time
  • Physical body
  • Sexual
  • Material

How do you know what a good boundary is?

The thing with boundaries is, they are very personal. The best way to know if one of your boundaries is being crossed is to notice how you feel in everyday situations. If you feel a negative emotion (like resentment or anger), a pit in your stomach, or resistance, then that is a sign your boundaries have been crossed.

For example: A friend asks to borrow your car. You don’t feel comfortable lending it, but say yes. Notice what happens.

Your inner voice might be shouting, ‘I hate it when they ask me things like this. Why do they always ask me?’

That is a clue!

Physical sensations in your body, such as: a sinking feeling, an ‘off’ sensation, or sense of dread.

Other clues:

Your emotions – You might feel taken advantage of, or angry.

Your behaviour –You might drag your feet in making things happen. e.g. You might procrastinate in meeting them to hand over your keys. Or you might arrive late, or lose your keys.

These are all signs your material boundary has been crossed.

In contrast, if a friend asked to borrow your car and you wanted to lend it to them, you might feel happy you could help out, feel pleased they asked you and even go out of the way to make sure they get your keys.

The benefits of having clear strong boundaries are:

1) You feel happier

Because you are paying attention to your innate moral compass, and allowing that to guide you.

2) You have better relationships, at work and at home

Because you aren’t allowing people to cross your boundaries, there are no feelings of resentment. You like these people and feel respected.

3) You have increased energy

When you are constantly giving people more of your resources than you feel comfortable, your energy gets depleted. Having healthy boundaries means having a lot of physical and mental energy!

4) You have increased selfconfidence

You trust yourself to look after your own needs.

5) You are more productive

Because you have clear time boundaries and because you have more energy (see #3).

6) You have greater selfrespect

This is a nice side effect of other people respecting you and your increased confidence.

When you start to create and enforce your boundaries, it can be a bit scary. It means that you have to say ‘no’ to people who are used to you saying ‘yes’. It also means you have to become a little more assertive, and get comfortable doing things differently. However, the benefits are so worth it!

Are you good at knowing what your boundaries are? Leave a note in the comments below.

Do You Have ADHD And Daytime Sleepiness?

buddha-85673_128075 percent of adults with ADHD have problems with sleep, getting to sleep, staying asleep and waking up are the most common issues. Another type of sleep problem is falling asleep during the daytime at unusual times. For example, in class, meetings or while driving. The people who experience this usually have inattentive ADHD.

This daytime sleepiness is interesting because it is triggered by the environment. If the environment is mentally stimulating and interesting, paying attention and staying awake is not a problem. However, if the setting is dull, then staying alert becomes impossible and the person falls asleep. It doesn’t matter how important the event is. VIPs could be at the meeting, or the class could be vital to getting a good grade, but if the content is boring, sleep takes over. However, if something exciting happens or if it’s possible to get up and move, then the sleepiness goes away.

Because physical movement stops the sleepiness, some people look to be hyperactive, but it really is a behavioural strategy they developed to stop themselves from falling asleep.

If the person had a disrupted nights’ sleep, then daytime sleepiness would be expected. But this group of people experience daytime sleepiness even after getting ample sleep at night time. An extreme form of struggling to stay alert is narcolepsy. It is possible to have ADHD and narcolepsy. However, the type of daytime sleepiness that these ADHDers have isn’t as severe as narcolepsy.

If you have an on-going problem staying awake during your day-to-day activities, here are some suggestions.

Rule out other options

1. Get checked out for sleep disorders, including Sleep Apnea and Restless Leg Syndrome and Narcolepsy.
2. Get assessed for depression.

Treat your ADHD

3. If 1 and 2 comes back clear, then treating your ADHD is your next action step. Adults with ADHD and alertness problems find ADHD meds very helpful. Work closely with your prescribing doctor and find the therapeutic dose for you.
4. If you are taking ADHD meds, be sure that they are in full effect when you are driving in your car.

Make your environment stimulating

Here are a few examples

5. If you are doing a dull household task, use your timer to keep you moving as much as possible.

6. You might not be able to get out of a boring meeting, but you can liven it up for yourself by offering to take notes on the white board for everyone, or be one of the presenters.

7. Change activities frequently.

Do you ADHD and Daytime Sleepiness? What helps you?

14 Ways to Eliminate ADHD Afternoon Crashes

14 Ways to Eliminate ADHD Afternoon CrashesBetween 2 pm and 4 pm, Adults with ADHD often experience afternoon crashes. Everyone experience afternoon slumps to some degree; where you feel mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. However, there are factors in the ADHDers’ life; which means you don’t just experience a little slump, yours are full blown crashes. Aside from wanting to fall asleep on the spot, they also affect your attention, focus, productivity, and your ability to stay calm and rational.

Here are 14 things you can do to minimize or eliminate your afternoon crashes. The more suggestions you implement, the more results you will see.

Mindset

1) Don’t feel guilty! ADHDers feel a lot of guilt and shame for a lot of things in their life including afternoon crashes. They feel bad they can’t concentrate on the meeting or that they are falling asleep in class and blame themselves. It is not your fault! It’s the way our bodies are wired. Circadian rhythms (which control our sleep) send sleep signals at night time and in the afternoon. Instead of blaming yourself, observe what is happening in a non- judgemental way and then use the suggestions below to help.

Preventative

2) Set Yourself Up For Success
Most ADHDers don’t eat breakfast; either because they don’t feel hungry in the mornings or because they are in too much of a rush to get out of the door. However, starting the day with an ADHD-friendly breakfast is incredibly helpful to avoid the afternoon crash.
Click here to learn what the best ADHD breakfast is. http://untappedbrilliance.com/the-adhd-breakfast

If you aren’t hungry because you take ADHD meds, eat first then take your meds. If you just can’t face food in the morning, make a protein smoothie because it’s easier to consume than solids.

3) Have an ADHD-Friendly Lunch
Lunch is often a meal eaten on the run, or skipped when you have ADHD. Or because you missed breakfast, you are ravenous and eat a big heavy lunch. What you diet for lunch has a direct effect on your energy in the afternoon. Take time to eat a gluten-free lunch with some good-quality protein (chicken or fish) and fiber in the form of vegetables. Your afternoons will be transformed.

4) Your Zzzzzs
75% of ADHDers have problems with falling and staying asleep. If you are sleep deprived or had a night of poor sleep, then an afternoon crash is more likely to happen. However, they can still be minimized with the other suggestions on this list. To learn more about how to sleep well when you have ADHD, head here. How To Sleep Very Well When You Have ADHD

5) Be a Smart Caffeine Drinker
Caffeine isn’t bad; and if you become a smart caffeine drinker, you can still drink it and not get afternoon crashes.

Drink your first coffee of the day after you have eaten breakfast.
If drinking coffee gives you energy highs and lows, then switch to green tea.
Both of these tips will give you more sustained energy. Don’t drink caffeine after 2pm because it will infer with your sleep (which in turn affects crashes).

6) Get Moving
After you exercise, your whole body and mind is energized for 3 hours. To capitalize on this, move your workout to lunch time and see if you notice a difference in your energy level in the afternoons.

7) Drink up
Staying hydrated is by far the simplest ways to fight fatigue, yet remembering to drink water throughout the day isn’t as simple. Don’t skip this step!
Head here for my tips to drink water when you have ADHD.

8) Goodbye Stress
Stress is exhausting! If your morning is full of tension, mini crisis (forgetting things, mad dashes for deadlines), worry and anxiety, then by the afternoon, you will be emotionally exhausted and ready to crash. Combating stress is a long term project.

Stress comes from 2 sources: things you can control and things you can’t.
Focus on the life stressors that are in your control. Managing your ADHD and using strategies to reduce your worry and anxiety (which ADHDers are natural pros at) is a great place to start.

9) Stop Multi-Tasking
ADHDers love to multi-task. It feels exciting and exhilarating. However, it’s also very tiring. Every time we shift focus, we burn glucose, which is the food our neurons use. After a couple of hours of speedy shifting, we feel drained and ready for a nap. Also, our glucose store is depleted; cortisol (the stress hormone) has also been released, causing us to feel edgy and stressed.
Stop multi-tasking and start single tasking.

During a crash

10) Have a Protein Afternoon Snack
If you notice yourself heading towards a crash, have a protein snack. Perhaps some nut butter with an apple. It is a really helpful pick-me-up. You might be craving sugar in the form of a candy bar, but that will only delay the crash. Protein will divert it.

11) Meds Crashes
Do you take ADHD meds? A powerful reason why you experience afternoon crashes is because your meds have worn off. If this is the case, here are some tips for you.

a) Consider speaking to your doctor and get prescribed another tablet to see you through to the end of the work day.
b) If you are taking your medication at the same time every day, your crashes will occur at about the same time every afternoon, which allows you to create a plan for that time. Don’t schedule meetings with other people then. Have some food at hand because you will probably be starving. Be gentle with yourself. Plan to have at least 30 minutes downtime until you can start functioning at your best again. A little walk outside, or meditation is also helpful.

12) Switch Tasks
Sometimes your brain needs a break. Rather than forcing yourself to stay doing a task that is putting you to sleep, switch over to another one. Pick one that you are motivated to do, that is going to engage your brain but not overtax it. It’s best if it’s away from a screen. Bonus points if it involves physical movement.

13) Turn Up the Music
Music can energize you and revitalize you. Put some of your favourite tunes on. Be sure that the music is upbeat and happy. Sober music or one with depressing lyrics will bring you down and make you tired.

14) Go for a Walk
Going for a quick walk will shake off the tiredness. Movement increases your blood circulation, which increases blood flow to your brain. Walking in the fresh air is a bonus.

ADHD and Hyperfocus

ADHD and HyperfocusWhen we focus on something, we make it the center of our attention. We block out distractions, (external and internal) and mentally engage with it, for minutes or hours at a time. Focusing is how things get done. It feels rewarding and satisfying.

ADHDers have the ability to take focusing to an entire other level and hyperfocus. When you hyperfocus, you do such a good job of blocking out distractions that you aren’t aware of what is going on around you. My friend, Bonnie was reading a newspaper while her 2 small children were happily playing. The next thing she knew, her daughters head popped up between her and the paper and she was saying, “Mom, are you in there?” She had been trying to attract her mom’s attention for several minutes before deciding she needed to physically check in.

This lack of awareness of what is going on around you, can get you into trouble; you might miss appointments or worse. In her book, Adventures in Fast Forward, Kathleen Nadeau writes about an ADHDer who was hyper-focusing on writing a paper. She was so engrossed, she didn’t notice that her house was on fire. “She had missed the sirens and all the commotion and was finally discovered by firemen, as she was working contentedly in her room while the kitchen at the back of the house was engulfed in flames!” says Nadeau.

When you hyperfocus on a work project, or a creative hobby, it feels fun, creative, productive and gives a huge sense of accomplishment. When you hyperfocus on something such as a TV watching binge, or 8 hours surfing the web, it doesn’t feel good because it comes with an element of guilt or shame. Also, the people in your life gets annoyed when you are late, or they want your attention and you seem to be ignoring them.

Hyperfocus can be confusing. You can’t really choose what you hyperfocus on. Boring mundane tasks, like housework will never be tasks that you can hyperfocus on, even though you wish you could. In order to hyperfocus on something, it has to be interesting, and just the right level of difficulty. Not too difficult; not too easy, but taxing enough that it engages your brain in a rewarding way.

Here are some tips so that you can enjoy the benefits of hyperfocusing and limit the negative.

1) Write down the activities that you do hyperfocus on: The good stuff and the not so good stuff.

2) Plan chunks of time when you can do the good activities. When you have ADHD,  a lot of the time, you are trying to force yourself to take action, or focus. It seems a shame to have to pull yourself away when you are being productive and focused.

For example, I get into the flow when I do my taxes (I know it s weird!) So once a year, I schedule an uninterrupted day where I can do all the tax things at once. This takes advantage of my brain energy and makes an enjoyable day.

3) Limit hyperfocus on the not so good stuff. When you have identified your danger activities, you can still do them, but know when you start them, it will be hard to disengage. For example, if a particular computer game is one of your hyperfocus things, plan to play a day at the weekend, rather than in the week when you have work commitments.

4) Set very loud timers. If you have an appointment, or a time you need to stop doing a task, set a very loud timer and put it away from where you are sitting. This means you will physically have to get up to switch it off. You will be forced to mentally disengage and then, it will be easier to stop your hyperfocus activity.

 

What activities do you hyperfocus on? Leave a note in the comment below!

ADHD and SAD

ADHD and Seasonal Affective DisorderThe winter of 2013/14 was a particularly

brutal winter here in Montreal. The cold weather started earlier than usual and went on and on. It seemed to be a never ending winter. That year, I had an unprecedented amount of clients suffering with depression. I had already had a sneaky suspicion that adults with ADHD were more prone to get SAD than the non-ADHD population, and a little bit of research backed up my hunch.

You are more likely to experience SAD if you have ADHD.

Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD is a form of depression. It is triggered by the reduction of sunlight and colder temperatures that come with the change of seasons. These environmental changes spark a change in your circadian rhythm. When it’s dark, the sleep related hormone, melatonin is produced by the pineal gland. Melatonin can also cause depressive symptoms. With the shorter days and longer nights of winter, more melatonin is produced.

If you have SAD, there are things you can do to help. The bonus is that many of them help with your ADHD too!

1.Take Omega 3 Supplements

Ok, now you probably think I am obsessed with these! but omega 3 helps keep good levels of dopamine and serotonin in your brain. Not only do those neurotransmitters help you to focus, concentrate, increase your memory, etc., they also keep you feeling happy and depression symptoms at bay.

2. Take a Vitamin D Supplement

There is a connection between low vitamin D levels and SAD. You can get your Vitamin D levels checked with your doctor.

3. Get a Light Box

Using a light box every day for 30 minutes is very helpful as the light curbs the release of melatonin. Do a quick google search to find a supplier in your area. Don’t wait until you start to feel depressed to use it. Start as soon as the evenings start to lengthen in the early fall.

4. Exercise

Stress and anxiety both make depression worse. The good news is that exercise helps reduce both! Exercise also helps your ADHD, so even if you don’t feel like moving, you will feel so much better afterwards.

5. Go Outdoors

Even though it’s cold, still go outside (without your shades) for 10 minutes or more a day. The daylight helps regulate your circadian rhythm and increase your serotonin and dopamine levels. You could even combine your exercise time with outdoors time.

6. Eat a Clean Diet

One of the symptoms of SAD is eating more starches and sugar than usually. It is a way to self-medicate. When you eat carbs, you get an increase in dopamine and you feel better. However, the feeling good is short lived and can often lead to weight gain and fatigue; which makes you feel worse. Instead, eat a clean, healthy ADHD-friendly diet with a lot of fresh fruit, vegetables and lean protein.

7. Sleep

Depression plays havoc on your sleep cycle. You can find yourself barely sleeping or sleeping way too much. If you need help with your sleep, check out  ‘Sleep Solutions

8. See a Therapist

Talk therapy is always a great way to proactively manage your stress and anxiety. To find a therapist in your area, visit: http://therapists.psychologytoday.com

9. Anti-Depressant Medications

Visit your doctor and discuss your symptoms with them. Anti-depressants might be part of your treatment plan. The Serotonin Selective Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI) group are known to be especially effective for SAD.

10. Don’t drink

Drinking alcohol can feel good in the moment, but like eating starch and sugar, the good feelings are only temporary. Also, hangovers from drinking increases anxiety and depression.

Do you have SAD? What have you found helpful?

 

 

 

 

How to Prioritize Self-Care When You Have ADHD

How to Prioritize Self-Care When You Have ADHDSelf-Care is all about knowing what your needs are, then making sure those needs are met. It’s care for you, by you. A lot of adults with ADHD are good at looking after other people, but not so good at treating themselves with the same care. However, self-care is essential for your physical, mental and emotional well-being.

Some of the emotional reasons why ADHDers don’t put themselves at the top of their priority list includes:

– Guilt
Shame
– Feeling undeserving

Feeling overwhelmed or that there is no time, are examples of practical reasons why self-care is not done.

Impulsiveness, problems forward planning and poor memory are examples of why having ADHD makes practicing self-care difficult.

By not looking after yourself, you will become physically depleted, emotionally exhausted, resentful, depressed or angry; so your ADHD gets much worse.

Self-care means different things for different people. However, here is a list of the basic self-care categories:

1) Health

  •  Visit doctor(s), dentist for regular check-ups.
  •  Check with a psychologist to address emotional upsets
  •  Exercise every day is best when you have ADHD
  •  Eat healthy ADHD friendly foods
  •  Take supplements
  •  Get 8 hours of sleep a night

2) People

  •  Spend time with people who respect and appreciate you
  •  Have healthy and respectful boundaries

3) Communication

  •  Feel comfortable saying no to things

4) Transport

  •  Have a safe car to drive in
  •  Follow the speed limit

5) Time Management

  •  Have a realistically schedule, so you can arrive on time for appointments

6) Finances

7) Happiness

  •  Spend time doing things that are fun for you: hobbies, etc.
  •  Wake up, looking forward to the day

8) Personal Grooming

  •  Book regular hair dresser appointments
  •  Look neat and tidy Ex. nails, shave
  •  Have clean and presentable clothes (without holes) to wear

If you are struggling with self-care at the moment, now is a great time to develop your skills. Making self-care a priority runs much deeper than picking up the phone to book a hair dresser’s appointment. It also involves an awareness of what makes you tick and knowing you are an important person to deserve these things.

You might need to:

  •  Work with a therapist or coach to help improve your self-esteem or improve your assertiveness in order to say no to people.
  •  Learn new skills like budgeting or time-keeping; which could help you improve your self-care.
  •  Work on managing your ADHD.
  •  Or a mixture of all 3!

Rather than doing a complete overhaul now (which can be difficult), or waiting for a ‘perfect’ time in the future (which never comes), try to make upgrades in small increments.

  1. Sit down and write a long list of all the ways you could improve your self-care.
  2. Look at the list and see what you could do that is easy. Maybe take an Omega 3 supplement, or get your hair cut every 2 months rather than every 3 months.
  3. Then, gradually do more and more of the things on your list until you are practicing extreme self-care!

 

How do you practice Self Care? Tell me 1 (or more) way you look after yourself in the comment section below!

 

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How to Finish What You Started

How to Finish What You StartedOver the last 6 months, I’ve developed a bad habit. I kept starting a book and not finishing it. Each book was interesting and helpful; and yet, I would get half way through and then, start another. Someone would recommend a book and so I would get it and start it right away. Or, I would need to learn about something and get a book about that topic; then, one of the books would make a reference to another book, so I would get that too.

I was finishing some of the books I started, so that helped to camouflage the problem. Also, because the books were all on my kindle, there wasn’t the visual evidence of this bad habit… no piles of books lying around. However, I had a scattered and incomplete feeling. It doesn’t feel good to keep starting things and not finishing them.

On the weekend, I decided to put a stop to this feeling. I sat down with a notepad and my kindle and wrote down all the titles of the books I hadn’t finished. Turns out, it was an even 20.
They were all still interesting (as my life hadn’t changed in the last 6 months to make any of them irrelevant). I made a new rule for myself that I couldn’t buy any new books until I had read those 20. Creating the list felt great. In the next 2 days, I finished 2 of those books; which felt even better!

So what have you been starting and not finishing recently?
If a lot of things come to mind, pick one area; such as: house renovation, craft projects, books, self-improvement projects, etc.

Now follow these steps to begin finishing what you started:

1) Make a decision to finish what you started (in the area you choose).
2) Get really clear about what you have to finish. Write down a list, so you know exactly what you need to do to finish.
3) When you will be able to do this? Allocate time. A little every day is great to see and feel momentum.
4) Have a reward at the end.

What are you going to finish? Leave a comment below!