Archives for February 2016

ADHD, Imposter Syndrome, and much more

Jacqui on about.comHere is a roundup of my latest 6 articles on About.com as their ADD and ADHD expert! You could read them all, or pick the ones that sound the most interesting to you.
ADHD and working with your strengths.

When you have ADHD it is easy to focus on your weaknesses. Yet, when you start focusing on your strengths, your life changes!

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ADHD and Anger Management

ADHD is a neurological disorder, which can cause rapid and strong emotional responses. Here are 5 suggestions to deal with anger.

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ADHD and Imposter Syndrome

Many people with ADHD feel like they are imposters. One of the reasons for this is that you hide your struggles from the general public.

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ADHD and Inaction

Inaction when you have ADHD can be a clever copying strategy to protect yourself from hurt and disappointment of life.

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How to Stop Over-Thinking

When you over-think, you get caught in a loop, and go over and over the same thoughts. Here are 4 ADHD friendly ways to break the over-thinking loop.

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Why Habits are Better than Willpower

Learn the 2 key reasons why habits are so helpful when you are living with ADHD. Plus, how to develop a good habit.

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ADHD and an Unusual Sense of Fairness

ferris-wheel-905261_640Last week, a blog reader asked me about a trait that many ADHDers have… an “unusual sense of fairness”. As I was replying to that email question, I realized it made a great article topic.

People with ADHD have a very strong moral compass:

They hate discrimination, dishonesty, fake people and unfair situations.
They love justice, fairness, honesty, sincerity, equality and the truth
.

Most people say that they value those things. However
, someone with ADHD will take action and do something about an unfair situation.

3 Reasons why a sense of fairness is more visible when you have ADHD:

1.     Low Tolerance

ADDers have a low tolerance for things that arent in alignment with who they are. This is why they quit jobs that are boring. A nonADHDer might be able to put their head down and work in a job they hate for 20 years. Yet, someone with ADHD cant make themselves do that. Similarly, if a person with ADHD witnesses an event (big or small) that is seen as unfair, they will take action. Someone without ADHD might need to see or experience the same thing many times before they respond.

2.     Social Norms

People with ADHD aren’t restricted by social norms in the way other people are.  For example, they wouldn’t feel obliged to stay at a dinner party (even if the host spent hours cooking), if they weren’t compatible with the other guestsThis means they will do things to seek fairness that other people wouldn’t; such as standing up for someone in class, even though it might cause them problems later with their friends.

3.     Arbitrary Rules

ADHDers don’t follow arbitrary rules; just rules that make sense to them. If there is a rule that prevents fairness, then a person with ADHD is more than happy to break it.

At an airport, imagine there are long lines at the checkin counter for coach class. Yet the business class line could be empty. Many people with ADHD would take their coach ticket and try to checkin in the business line, because it makes no logical sense to stand and wait in line. This same principle is applied to all situations that don’t seem fair.

ADHD Characteristics

Sometimes, ADHD characteristics help with this quest for fairness. For example: impulsively jumping into action when they see or hear something that doesn’t feel right. ADHDers dont stop to think and wait until later when their energy or sense of urgency has dispersed.

Yet, even people with ADHD characteristics that would appear to work against seeking fairness (social anxiety or debilitating procrastination) will rise to the occasion, and do what is needed in order to right an unfair situation.

Your Time        

The need for fairness can be reflected in career choices and it can influence how people spend their free time. One client spent a lot of his spare time one year helping his neighbors child. The child had learning disabilities and needed help to get the right support from the school. There were meetings, long forms to be filled out and lot of research to understand what rights the child had.

It can also show up in small pockets of time too. For example: counting out the number of carrots everyone has on their dinner plates or reaching for a calculator at a restaurant to make sure everyone leaves the right tip for the waitress.

The Flip Side

There are downsides to fairness.
AD
HDers can end up feeling completely discouraged and depressed about the world and its problems, the environment, the legal system, etc. They feel powerless to make a difference as they are only one person.

Standing up for other people, means there is less time for their own family, and this can cause hurt feelings because ‘you put everyone else before us.

Or, they might be considered a troublemaker, too rigid or perhaps the butt of jokes. 

Despite the negativesmost people find it very refreshing to be around people with ADHD and their desire for fairness.

Do you have a strong need for fairness?