Archives for September 2015

How to Stop Impulse Spending

urban-438393_640Most people have experienced making an impulsive purchase in their lifetime –that ‘spur of the moment’ decision to buy something completely unplanned.  However, the number of impulsive purchases increases a lot  when you have ADHD. Impulsivity is a core characteristic of ADHD after all!  That doesn’t mean you can’t limit impulsive spending. Here are 6 tips:

1) Treat your ADHD.

One of the reasons people with ADHD enjoy shopping is because of dopamine. When people make a purchase they get a shot of dopamine. Because your brain has less dopamine than  non-ADDers, that dopamine shot feels extra good. Humans like to do things that make them feel good, so impulse shopping continues. However, when you are treating your ADHD, dopamine levels are increased and self-medicating behaviours, such as shopping, don’t seem so compelling.

2) Know your shopping style

People have different shopping styles. When you are clear what your style is, you can match it with an effective solution to limit your purchases.

a) Big shopping sprees.

If you go on big shopping sprees and shop till you drop,  take a certain amount of cash with you on your trip. Leave all your credit and debit cards at home. This makes it physically impossible for you to over spend.

b) Big ticket items

If your impulsive spending is on big ticket items such as a boat, create two  safety nets. Have a personal rule that before spending $500 or more, you talk it over with a person you trust and you wait seven nights before buying it.

c) Small items

If you spend your money on small items like  books or magazines, it can be hard to change because it’s easy to justify. After all, it’s ‘just $20.’ However, create a personal rule that you only buy what is on a pre-written list (see number 5).

3) Know why you go shopping

Is it because you need something? Or is it because you had a bad day and want a reward or a pick me up? If it’s the latter, don’t go shopping! When you are in this frame of mind you are much more likely to spend more than you intended. This is where the name retail therapy came from. Instead, think of other ways to reward yourself after a bad day.

4) Create a budget

Budgets aren’t a punishment! They empower you and provide you with a framework and structure. Budgets allow you to pre-plan how you spend your money, which means you purchase things that are important to you. Head here to learn how to create an ADHD friendly budget.

http://untappedbrilliance.com/how-to-make-a-budget-when-you-have-adhd/

5) Make shopping lists

Never go shopping without a list. Plan what you are going to buy while you are at home away from temptation. Then stick to the plan! Don’t buy anything that isn’t on your list. If you notice something nice while you are shopping, don’t buy it. Instead tell yourself that you will come back another day when it’s been added to your list.

6) Keep your receipts

Even with the best intentions, impulsive purchases might happen. If they do, don’t feel bad. You can employ a damage limitation strategy and return the items. What stops many people with ADHD from doing this is they misplace the receipts. From now on keep all your receipts even for items that you had planned to buy. Dedicate a special place in your purse or wallet so you know where they will be in case you need them.

What things do you do to limit impulsive shopping?

How to Avoid Fights About Housework

lego-568039_640Do you and your partner frequently argue about housework? You aren’t alone: it’s one of the most common things couples fight over when one of them has ADHD.

To the person without ADHD, when you don’t make the bed, clean the bath, do the laundry, etc., they think:

1) You don’t care about them or your home together

2) You are being lazy or

3) You are purposely trying to annoy them.

In fact it’s none of those reasons! When you have ADHD, it doesn’t matter how much you love your spouse, or having a clean home; housework is boring and overwhelming and so very hard to ‘make yourself’ do it.

However, don’t despair…here are 5 tips to avoid arguing about housework!

1) What is their ‘thing’?

Usually the non-ADHD spouse has one thing that really bugs them. They don’t mind having piles of dirty clothes on the bedroom floor or dust bunnies everywhere BUT there is one thing that really annoys them and causes tons of fights. For example:

‘If he would just remember to take out the trash, I wouldn’t mind doing everything else.’

‘If she could just keep the sink empty, so it’s not the first thing I see when I walk through the front door, I could cope with the rest.’

‘I know housework is hard for her, but if she could just empty the cat litter every day…’

Now when clients tell me they have fights about housework with their spouses, I ask, ‘What is their one thing?’ As you are reading this, I bet you know straight away what it is. If you aren’t sure, start to notice what they say during the fights. They will have a thing!

This is your first focus. It will probably only take a few minutes of your time and yet it has a big ripple effect on the relationship. The partner then feels you do love them after all.

2) Create a list

Sit down together and write a comprehensive list of all the tasks that need to be done daily and weekly. Or download the housework lists at the bottom of this article. Next split the list into tasks that you will do and tasks they will do. One of the reasons why ADHDers feel so overwhelmed by housework is that they don’t know what exactly to do. This list helps remove some of that overwhelm.

When you are picking your tasks, where at all possible, pick the ones that are easy for you to do.

3) Don’t do housework at the same time

You and your partner don’t need to do housework at the same time! Many couples feel that they should both be working at the same time. However this can lead to arguments.  One person wants to watch cartoons and the other one wants to get the housework done. This is another benefit of the housework list. You can both do it at times that work for you. No one needs to feel guilty or that they are being taken advantage of.

4) Don’t compare times

You might find that it takes you longer to do household tasks. This is something spouses can’t quite understand. Don’t compare times. It’s not a race and it doesn’t mean that you aren’t as competent. You just have different styles of doing things.

5) Get a cleaner.

This might sound like cheating, however, if you can afford to, hire a cleaner.  You can still use these tips for daily maintenance, but the cleaner will take care of the deep-down cleaning. This takes the pressure off both you and your partner.

What do you and your partner do to avoid fighting about housework?

Looking for some housework checklists? Just enter your name and email address below to access the Resource Library and the Housework Checklists

 

10 Ways to Pay Attention in Conversations

Jacqui on about.comHere is a roundup of my latest 6 articles on About.com as their ADD and ADHD expert! You could read them all, or pick the ones that sound the most interesting to you.

10 Ways to Pay Attention in Conversations

Attention problems during conversations can cause embarrassment and misunderstandings. Here are 10 ADHD-friendly tips to help you.

http://add.about.com/od/adhdinadults/fl/10-Ways-to-Pay-Attention-in-Conversations.htm

ADHD Financial Tip: How to Avoid Bounced Checks

Maintaining a healthy bank balance, when you are living with ADHD, is a challenge. Here are 6 tips to avoid checks from bouncing!

http://add.about.com/od/adhdinadults/fl/ADHD-Financial-Tip-How-to-Avoid-Bounced-Checks.htm

5 ADHD-Friendly Tips to Using a Daily Planner

Using a daytime planner is a simple, yet powerful skill when you have ADHD. It is the key to managing your life and your ADHD. Here are 5 tips to using yours successful.

http://add.about.com/od/treatmentoptions/fl/5-ADHD-Friendly-Tips-to-Using-a-Daily-Planner.htm

What is the Best Career for You?

Adults with ADHD often ask what job would be the best for them. Here are 6 ways to discover great career options for you!

http://add.about.com/od/adhdinadults/fl/What-is-the-Best-Career-for-You.htm

How to Feel Good about Yourself When You Have ADHD

‘I just don’t feel good about myself’ is something that many adults with ADHD say. Here are seven tips to like who you are and feel great about yourself!

http://add.about.com/od/adhdinadults/fl/How-to-feel-good-about-yourself-when-you-have-ADHD.htm

The Power of ONE Thing!

Do you have many ‘things to do’? Yet, despite your best intentions, none of these things seem to get done? Here is a powerful strategy to help!

http://add.about.com/od/treatmentoptions/fl/The-Power-of-ONE-Thing.htm